Tuesday, January 6, 2009

New year is killing me

Well, not really, but still. I got a rather interesting revelation last week. When I had went to the doctor for the strep, when they handed me my printout thingy I just folded it and put it in my jacket pocket. When Jay and I were headed out the other night, I pulled it out and happened to glance at it and got "the suprise". I've said for years, to family and friends, yes, I am overweight. I feel awful. and YES, there are reasons why I cannot just simply "eat better". I want to, I desperately WANT to, but am not afforded this luxury. It has been a struggle in my house for quite some time and frankly, I've just been doing the best I could with what I have been given to work with. I look at the paper, and you know how in the corner it says your "diagnosis for the day"? #1- strep throat ... #2- obesity. Well no, they didn't say anything about my weight at that visit (I figure they assumed I'd get the hint from the sheet?).

So there you have it. There's the reality. This is what happens when you refuse to support your loved ones with their burdens because it would cause you to get out of your own comfort zones. Great, my life insurance premiums will probably go up, as well as health insurance when we reapply this month or next :o/

HOWEVER~ now I'm not "crazy"! It's on paper! I really AM as big as I have been saying I was for quite some time now! So it can finally make sense to people that when I say my feet hurt, they are hurting from the arthitis that has formed in them and the fact they are bearing the brunt of an obese woman. No wonder I can't stand on my feet for long amounts of time any more!! No wonder my back and hips flare up not along after my feet start tingling! It's on paper now, can we PLEASE start eating healthy now? Naysayers- NO- you CANNOT lose weight by exercising alone! You make things worse in some cases :o/

I got out of bed optimistic yesterday. After Jay left with the kids I done a one mile walk, stayed on the low impact end because I needed to do other things around the house. After that I got ready, even put on makeup. Cleaned out the fridge down to condiments- spent over an hour between the fridge and washing dishes, rinsing jars, etc for the recycling bin, and making trips out to the woods to throw everything out.
I completed four or five loads of laundry- though mainly blankets except for two loads of clothes. So count the back and forth to the laundry room, standing to fold, walking around the house putting everything up. I was able to rest for a little bit before mom and dad brought the kids home, and they stayed the evening with us for dinner. Before I started dinner my cousin came by to give Jackson a belated bday present, and while she was visiting with mom and dad I cooked dinner (spaghetti with deer meat in the sauce, YUM!). That was about another hour on my feet moving about. (I love cooking though! don't get me wrong!)

It was a good, accomplished day. Sidenote, the blessing of the day was my cousin had a HUGE bag of daffodils she brought home from work (with permission, lol) and she gave me about five pounds of bulbs before she left. I'm so excited! I want to build a "cut garden" right out of the back door, that will be so nice!
I hurt SO bad by the time nine o'clock come, I could not stand it!
I'm so tired of this! I don't want to be a 33 year old disabled person!
Please pray the Lord would work out the hinderances to my health, I'd really appreciate it.

Oh! and speaking of health- my migraines. I was back to having them on a regular, somewhat frequent basis. You know over Christmas break I started back drinking coffee at home (instead of having a cup a day from McD's and that was it) ... and the migraines are not NEAR as frequent as they were? I can't win for losing ;o)

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