Sunday, April 29, 2007

Talk about judging!! WHEW!!

Sunday, April 29th, 2007, 2:03 am

So I had my surgery on my nose yesterday. I specifically shared my bad experience with having an IV inserted into the top of my hand five years ago when I had Hannah. Oh my gosh I felt that thing going in and felt it moved every time I moved my hand! The nurse said that it cold have been a couple of things, one, they got it in not very good ... two, the 'gauge's (sp?) they use for birth are a lot bigger.

So these were my words: "I am going to trust you to do what you believe you can do ... to not hurt me. If you think you can go in my hand and not have me in that pain, I will trust you."

So, she has my left hand, I'm holding Jay with my right. She tries to go into the vein on the right side of my wrist!!!!!! I have boney arms!!! She either missed the vein, or the vein collapsed or whatever y'all call it, IT DIDN'T WORK.

So okay, I cannot hide the fact I'm hurting. The whole time I'm facing Jay, and lets not forget my nose is broke and it HURTS to squint my eyes, raise my eyebrows, you know, move my face much, uh huh, yep. You're getting the picture.

So she's frequently saying she's sorry, and I'm frequently saying "you're okay, don't worry, just do what you need to do ..." "don't worry, I'm forgiving" ... and she keeps saying she's sorry! I'm like in my head "GET IT DONE!!!!" Stop apologizing and just do it! So I'm trying to stay calm, and assuring her I'm not upset with her, and I say "really, I'm okay. I'm forgiving, trust me, I don't hold a grudge or anything!"

This whole time I'm facing Jay with my eyes shut. I say that, and she says with a slight giggle "Well you must not be baptist, huh?" :-O I open my eyes and look at Jay, his eyes are as big as mine, we both look at her, she realizes I've turned my head, she looks up at me, and I say "Well YES, I am Baptist ... (you don't get much more baptist than us!)" her eyes get real big then she asks what church we go to and we tell her. She says "doesn't that church have a school, too?" to which we answer "yes" ... she mentions another church of like faith that has a school, then says "But I hear that school (ours) is real strict", with this sort of ... condescending kind of look on her face. By then she's withdrawn the needle from my wrist and applying gauze and tape to my arm ... and I say "Well, our school just has higher standards of excellence which leaves less room for grey areas that can cause confusion", and then the other nurse walked in.

So, WHOA!! Talk about you don't know who you're talking to!! Not only does she stereotype people, but done it straight to my face almost joking, but then turns around and tries to poke at my kid's school (which she didn't even know they went there!). I just hope and pray my long suffering with her gave her a better impression of us "baptists", LOL!!!

My nose surgery (4/27)

Sunday, April 29th, 2007, 12:57 am

Well, I'm sure hoping that they achieved what they set out to do!! I got to the hospital at 2, and like clockwork, there went our youth Pastor meeting us in the parking lot :) What's funny was, it was the same hospital mom had her surgery at last November, and he was there with us then, too .. and I had not been back to that hospital til yesterday, either, lol

We got where we needed to be within a few minutes, had a chance to fellowship for a few, then the process began. They called me back to go over the business end (so the guys chatted while I done that) ... I went back out to the waiting room to get my insurance card and we prayed then in case R had to leave before I got back; then I went to visit with a nurse to go over my healthy history, confirm details, etc .. then met with the anesthesiologist, he done his thing, explained who was going to be helping me, etc .. then when I got done with him I went and got jay and we went back to the main waiting room.

I'm not sure why people complain so much about having to be there so early cause I mean yes, the procedure was s'posed to be at 5 and they said be there at 2, but they done everything in such a timely manner, we really did not wait much at all. They allowed Jay to be with me in pre op, right until they took me back to the OR.

What they done, I'm sure y'all have seen it done on TV, they take that cylinder shaped medal device, stuck it up my nose, and took a little hammer from the outside and basically reshaped my nose, putting the bones back where it was supposed to and I guess they attempted to straighten the septum. They taped my nose quite tightly, and put an actual cast on my nose. I have a picture of it I'll have to upload, but it fell off this evening. I was wondering how it was supposed to stay on anyway, Jay said they told him it would likely fall off and if it did, it would be okay.

HOWEVER, the tape, is not to get wet .... at all. My first thought was !#$%^&*, ?? But then it occurred to me I can go to my hair stylist and have her wash my hair this week. I dont know about showering,, maybe stick a shower cap over my face? I dunno.

SO How Did I Do? not so good. Remember Thursday I said that I had a migraine? Remember they said no eating or drinking after midnight Friday? It was by God's grace I was walking and talking when we got to the hospital. When they were bringing me out of the general anesthesia, my migraine was in full force. So not only did I have the surgery / nose pain, I had migraine pain, TOO.

I had trouble opening my eyes, because, florescent lights is a BAD trigger for my migraine pain .. I was breathing from my mouth, and my throat was DRY. My left hand /wrist was hurting from where the nurse tried to kill me (that's another post), and the IV was in my right hand, and taped all that stuff TIGHT. The only anesthesia I've been under before was a spinal block and all that incurs, so when I realized I could move my legs it felt all freaky ... and just overall, I was in PAIN. Like, a 9 of 10.

So the nurse offered me some dub-ba-blubba-dodin (who knows), and apparently she noticed my hesitation, and then offered morphine, to which I managed a "Oh yeuh!", I heard her smile (remember my eyes were closed from the pain and lack of ability to really move) ... and I said "I guess I sounded like quite the druggie didn't I?" and she laughed. I explained that's what I had with the kids, etc ... So she gave me some morphine in my IV.

Within the next hour they got me some water to which about choked me. Tell me ... someone has not had ANYTHING to drink in going on NINETEEN hours, and just come out of surgery and has been breathing out of their mouth for at LEAST an hour ... WHY WOULD YOU GIVE THEM COLD ICE WATER???!!! I sat there choking for five minutes! It made my nose bleed! I kindly asked for lukewarm water and they were nice enough to get me some ;o) I then proceeded to try to eat some saltines with my warm water, and uhg :cP

After some time another nurse come in with my instructions, and that was about when I almost lost my graciousness. They had the light out in my little hole of a recovery booth (you know like those curtain areas?). She said she needed to turn the light on to read the instructions ... I'm trying to tell Jay "Can you not see them without the light on?" which, I can open my eyes up enough to know YYEEESSSS you can! and I ask "do you haavvee to?" to which she says "I need the light on to explain these papers" ... why pray-tell can't you step your rear end three feet outside my curtain and show Jay those papers?! It was rough.

So then we head home. We decided to drop off my Rx's on the way home and Jay come back out to get them. Target, where we usually get out Rx, didn't have the Percoset (Oxycotin). CVS did not have the dosage (after waiting 20 minutes cause they say "Yes, we have it!" when he went in and asked. So he takes me home and goes to Walgreens and they have it.

So get this, the pharmacist explained the strength of the Percoset to Jay. Check it out, last week, the ER doc sent me home with vicotin for a newly broken nose, right? Last night, the ENT doc sent me home with this Percoset, which, the pharmacist told Jay it was about equal to THREE of the vicotin I was taking, in ONE dose of this stuff. So tell me what was expected to hurt worse?! Wowsers!

So Jay has been doctoring me all day and monitoring my meds. I've been nauseous pretty much all day, not sure if it's the meds, my equilibrium or what. I feel off .... balance. I about said off my rocker but that wouldn't be what I was talking about although it would be accurate as well. and you know, it still feels like it takes me a lot of energy to talk. I've had two conversations today, one with C2 and the other with a friend from church. After both conversations I was so tired afterwards. I wonder if that's normal? kwim?

Well, I have a little testimony I wanna post too ... I guess that's about it as far as my nose!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Dr Appt's today (4/26): Hospital tomorrow

Thursday, April 26th, 2007, 8:57 pm

Woke up with a migraine ... went to dr at 9:15. left at 11:15 waiting on a call to let me know when to go to the ENT specialist, b/c there was "concern" about the right side of my nose. Go to mom's, pass out until 3, get a call from ENT saying get there by 4.

I should have been at the ENT yesterday. It's not three breaks, the septum is broken too ... four breaks. Here are where the other three are:

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Basically? I smashed me face. My option was to let it heal and have a crooked nose ... let it heal, come back in 6 wks and let them rebreak it and set it ... or go ahead and set it tomorrow at 5pm.

I'll be going into the hospital tomorrow at 2 for prep, and the procedure / surgery is set for 5pm. My impression is it's outpatient, but I will be under general anesthesia. After the procedure, they will be putting a CAST on my nose. So as if going through that pain AGAIN isn't enough, I'm going to look STUPID in the process!!!AND!! I can't have any food, drink, or meds after midnight tonight, and the procedure isn't until FIVE PM!!!

Oh, and as if this wasn't bad enough? My new insurance policy from work has a $1500 deductible! We're going into more debt!! AARRGGG!!!!! I'm so not a happy camper. Not to mention, this is putting me out of work for another week, but he said it was going to take 6-8 weeks to be totally healed.

Uhg :(

Monday, April 23, 2007

Dr Visit (4/23)

Monday, April 23rd, 2007, 2:04 pm

I spoke with my boss last night and felt it was a better idea to be seen today since my irritating sickness has gtten worse since I broke my nose, especially this weekend. My chest is tight, I'm coughing, hacking, snotting, name it. It's been hard since I cannot blow my nose either! They said if I did I risked bacteria going through the breaks and that area becoming infected.

So guess what?

It's infected. The area around the break has infection surrounding it, and well, my sinuses (ouch)...

I am also having a reaction to the tetnus shot, which I figured (ouch is the word) ...

and she's written me out of work for the week because I cannot take any risks of my face getting "bopped" by one of the kids. That was a fear of mine but I didn't want to seem irrational, kwim? It's not just my nose, but my face.

Oh, and my left jaw is inflamed due to the impact and the fact I've learned I have TMJ.

WHICH, co incidentally, when all this is over, I will be seeing a dentist for because TMJ is a known trigger of migraines!! Can you believe it? It took me breaking my nose to find this out!!

So she sent me home with antibiotics, valium for my neck and shoulders, refills for imitrex, and an excuse for work to return next monday.

I'm going to take a nap now ...

Friday, April 20, 2007


Friday, April 20th, 2007, 10:26 pm

Started at 6:41pm:
It was sprinkling rain yesterday and the grass was wet. I was running next door because the Gas man was there, I saw him when I pulled in my driveway coming home. They were supposed to reconnect our gas, but there was a note on the door saying no one was home. But J had left a key hidden outside and there was supposed to be a note on our account saying so.

So I'm running. Next thing I know I am in the air. I cannot say I tripped, or slid, or anything. I just went from ground to air. and I landed on my face. On a gravel driveway. See, my house is somewhat off the road. The driveway next to ours leads to a house more further off the road than ours, back in the woods. Then there's the driveway the gas man was in, which is the next one, and that house is right there on the road. So I fell from my grass onto the gravel driveway. I have no scratches anywhere but my face, because, well, that's what broke the fall.

I immediately knew something was wrong, blood was pouring out of my nose, everything started that stinging feeling. I had my cell phone in my hand so I called my mom and dad to come over. I got up, holding my hand over my nose and went up to the truck and explained about the gas situation. my neighbor (whom I had not yet met) was just looking at me all freaky and went and got a paper towel. The gas guy said "Well, that wasn't one of my calls, but I'll go over and do it for you" (LOL!! You think he thought I was desperate!!??) By then the wife come out, elderly couple they are, and she started mama'ing, got her umbrella and walked me home.

She was SO sweet and as we were talking she was telling me about the lady that lived here, my landlord's mother. She said that 'Sarah' prayed like no one you'd heard before. When she prayed you knew that the spirit was enveloping the room, she prayed with authority. I thought that was such a blessing to know that the Lord was already a part of this house before we ever moved in, because it was surly God's intervention that got us here in the first place!!

So I got in the house, and Hannah started helping me get washcloths, she insisted I layed down in 'daddy's chair', even pulled out the footrest for me ;o) I called Jay, all the while, I'm feeling the swelling getting worse ... my forehead, nose, eyes, cheeks, lips, and chin. Jay calls me parents because they should had been at the house by then. They said they had not talked to me!! But they were at my sister's house beating on the door cause "Brandy called and said she broke her toe" :-O Jay said "Nooooo, WENDY called cause she's broke her NOSE!!!". Sis's house is five miles opposite of my parent's house, and their house is five miles from here. So they urn around and head over here. Not long after they got here my neighbor lady had walked back over and brought the kid's a plate of cake :::hearts::::

Mom and I take off to the emergency room. Kristi was going to come over shortly after that to be with the kids (and daddy ... he's a good placeholder babysitter but they still needed to be fed, put to bed etc.. lol). We got there and everyone was looking at me like I was a freak. The triage nurse got me approved for the "fast track" ...

continued at 9:21pm:
So I was in a 'curtain' within 30-40 minutes. They done a head and facial CT scan and concluded that there were no fractures or breaks other than the three breaks around my nose (left, center, and right), right above the bridge of my nose. Besides the fact when I landed, my bottom front teeth went into my lip, but didn't make it through to the other side (PTL). I could not bite down at all last night, but this afternoon I was able to. I'm guessing there was just swelling around my jaws.

You know the Lord is good. When we got there and I was sitting in the wheelchair waiting to check in, a song popped in my head and I was humming to myself through the silent tears. The lyrics go like:

"God is good, yes he is. He's good all the tiiimmmeee ... God is good, yeeeessss he is, he's good all the time. You can search, the whole world over, and no greater friend you'll find. He's not good just now and then, he's good ALL the time ....".

I had the head CT done first. When I got back he asked if the vicotin I had taken about an hour earlier was working, and I said not so much. He said "we'll take care of that", and a few minutes later the nurse come and brought me two more *g* Those worked! Then the Dr looked at the CT results and decided he wanted a facial to be sure of my jaw, and he aologized in advanced saying they had all the CT machines running but there's a HUGE line of orders for CT's last night and he could not say how long we would have to wait. A few minutes later I saw another Dr come in venting about the CTs, saying that there were 82 people waiting for CTs right then that at that rate it would be 3-4 hours to get his patient's done. I prayed.

About 15 minutes later they come and got me to take me down to the X ray room (PTL for rolling mini beds), and after waiting in the hall 10-15 minutes, I was in! ~whew~ Then he come back about 20-30 minutes later and said "Come look at your CT results", and you know what was so funny? He showed them to me on the same computer that they showed us Jackson's X ray results from when he broke his arm- we went right by his room in the peds area ;o) So he showed me where the breaks were, we went back to my bed, he showed me how he wanted me to spray Afrin in my nose (calm the bleeding), explained about going to see my regular dr in a week and about setting it if they need to, then he looked real close at my nose and proceeded to clean it and pick the gravel out of the skin.

We left around 7pm and got home about 1:20, I didn't think that was bad at all considering the ER waiting room was standing room only around 8:30!


My neck and shoulders are hurting bad, and my upper chest is achey. It's like the vicotin is doing well for my face but my muscles are VERY tender. I found a bruise on my right elbow. My left arm is hurting where they gave me a tetnus shot. My face is changing colors (again) but it seems like the swelling around my nose has went down, but my eyes are swelling more. I can see the swelling under my right eye as I look straight out and of course down. I have pics on my cell phone of the progression of the swelling, etc I just need to figure out how to get them on the internet ;o)

My bottom lip has already started healing well where it was busted on the outside. I'm most comfortable when he head is supported by something other than my own neck strength, does that make sense? That collar was comfy last night! Jay said earlier I needed to get on the computer for physical therapy ;o) But then has fussed at how much I've been up and around since they come home but geesh! Hannah has not given me a moment's peace since I got home! Speaking of, I need to get the kids to bed. I'll try to post more later.

((((((((group hug))))))))))

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Peeping in

Sunday, April 15th, 2007, 10:36 pm

A friend asked me how I was. Honestly? I am so not fine. I miss my baby so much. There are so many "firsts" we've yet to encounter, but the ones we have have been so overwhelming at times. Yesterday was the first time I was at Target and passed the dog isle ... and did not have a reason to go down it. I almost had an anxiety attack there in the store, but calmed myself down enough to get to the back corner of the store and just cry a few minutes.

Everytime I visit my parents, I want to hold onto TJ (their dog, Temone's son) for dear life. I'm freaking him out. He keeps looking at the door like Jay's going to come in with Temone, too. I have to force myself to call him the right name, otherwise I'm calling him 'Moni', which I have NEVER done before.

Last week was our first holiday without him. We had family over, he would had been permanently planted in either mine or my mom's lap the whole time to avoid the "foot traffic".

and I've been sick the past few days. It's just going from one ailment to the next. This is the first time I've been home from work sick ... without having him to cuddle with. I've managed to sleep, but when I'm on the couch sick, he would pay special attention to cuddle with me, like he knew I felt bad. (I'm still feeling bad!)

That's my quick update. Guess that was more than what you were looking for, huh? I dont want to have a depressing blog, but, such is me right now :( Thank you SO much for all of your support and kind words, it really means so much to me. It means a lot to know there are people thinking about us and care about how we're doing, from the comments in my last post to those checking in on my wall, I feel fortunate to have such a network here (((group hug))))

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

He's gone ....

Wednesday, April 4th, 2007, 1:26 pm

I come home from lunch yesterday to check on him. While I was here, he sneezed a few time sin a row and apparently bust a vessel in his left nasal passage. Blood was everywhere it seemed (around him, you know how when animals sneeze, the 'sneeze' goes in all directions.). His nose was bleeding pretty heavy (to me) and I had Jay call MIL, who in turn started calling our vet (P) and the specialist's office. (I did get the bleeding to stop.) Records were found there (at the specialist) and addt'l info was faxed from P's office, and the specialist said that his cancer was squamous carcinoma, the abolsute WORST kind of cancer in dogs, and they would not even treat it because the measures were too drastic.

She said that if they were to try to treat him, he would have to have three different surgeries, a round of chemo, and a round of radiation, and with that, they would give a 25% chance his life would be expanded by 30-60 DAYS.

P said that the best thing we could do for him was to bring him in last night and put him to sleep ... for good. So we did. He's gone. Monday night I prayed at revival for the Lord to give us the wisdom to know when to say when. Our prayer was answered in less than 24 hours, praise him. I don't want to talk about it any more quite yet but I wanted everyone to have an update. My boss let me have today off to 'get it all out', I'm so fortunate to have her as my boss, she's so compassionate. If you don't see me around the boards for the rest of the week, please understand why. I'm just trying to process it right now :...o(

Monday, April 2, 2007

Temone's Test Results

Monday, April 2nd, 2007, 7:17 am
It's cancer ...