Wednesday, November 30, 2005

"What Mrs C taught me"

Almost two months ago a dear woman in my life was told she had a brain tumor. A subsequent MRI a few days later showed two tumors, that would require two different surgeries. She was healed of both, in one surgery, that was finished in less than the estimated time to remove one of the two, much less both of them. I do plan on hosting her audio testimony soon on the internet so all my net friends can hear her tell it herself. But for now, you have me. You see, this woman was Jackson's k4 teacher three years ago.

Since Jackson has been in her class, I have been in awe of how a woman can be so loved, so faithful to the Lord, and in general- so happy. She is a teacher of all the children in our small, private Christian school in one way or another.... almost daily. She is devoted in her ministries at church, from mentoring wives- being a Titus 2 woman, to teaching children in grades 1-6 bell choir.

Last August, I "bribed" my own three year old class of 18 with her presence if they behaved themselves during our "Baby Day" performance. She was so known and loved by those children, at three years old- they were absolute angels up there on the stage, and was walking off the stage confirming that "Mrs C" was gonna come sing with us. For the woman to have never worked in the nursery ministry (4 yrs and up in her "speciality", after all!)- that is one shining testimony that she touched not only the children's lives she teaches, but their families as well.

This morning I had the opportunity to share with someone what Mrs C taught me through her trial. Or should I say, what the Lord used Mrs C to teach me these past couple of months ... and now that I think about it- she doesn't even know. So here it is ...

I had a friend who recently was diagnosed with two brain tumors, had surgery, and was completely healed- all within 4 weeks from beginning of the trial to the end!! I have learned so much from that experience because I tell ya, it rocked my world.

This woman had been the glimpse of light in many dark days of mine in the last three years, and has been the ultimate role model for me. The thought of losing her made me face a LOT of fears head on. One thing that got me was she never stopped smiling- ever. (She's one of those people that has a permanent smile, you know those people? lol) She said "This is God's plan for my life, I will be just fine either way this situation works out." WHOA!!

Then the Lord showed ME- that this woman has nothing different than I have. We both have the same mustard seed of faith (and if you are born again, you have that!!)- and we both have the same capacity to use that faith. He showed me I can choose to panic, or I can choose to trust him. Then he lead me to this verse-
".... for whatsoever is not of faith is sin" -- Romans 14:23

That made me really take a step back and rethink things. He showed me through my friend that we are not called to be happy, we are called to be Godly, to become holy. My friend was not smiling all the time because she was happy she had tumors in her brain that could possibly kill her. She was happy because she didn't allow her trial to steal the joy of her salvation(-)
"Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit." - Psalm 51:12
"I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels." -- Isaiah 61:10
"Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.: Habakkuk 3:18

I'm facing a pretty stressful, trying trial right now myself, but it's so much better to be able to breathe easily knowing that the creator of the universe has his hand in my situation.

If it was not for Mrs C going through what she did, who knows how long it would have taken for me to learn this most important lesson ....

Thank you, Lord, for putting this wonderful godly woman in my life.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Food Addict?

Last week I was on a mexican kick. J brought home chips and salsa, and let me know the restaurant charges almost a dollar for one little container, equivalent to about half of the dish they pour it in when you eat there. Yeh, outrageous IMO

I had the three extra salsas in the fridge, to come in the LR one evening to find out that Hannah was in the fridge, and spilt it on the floor! I freaked out.

I cannot believe the words that flew out of my mouth:
"I enjoy very few things in my life ..."

in regards to my plans of eating the chips and salsa that evening. Jackson looked at me like I was crazy.

Am I addicted to food now?
Am I looking to food to replace the pleasure that is otherwise missing in my life?

I made a promise to myself that I would swear off fried foods and drink one bottle of water per day this week. I need to fix my food journal for the week, too. Trying to put points back into the equation as well.

These past few weeks I have horribly ignored my eating. All sorts of fried stuff, and my face is paying for it. My cystic acne has come back so hard that it actually hurts to cleanse my jaw on the right side, just the pressure of my fingertips. The water has got to help with that!!

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Finished my GED testing

I finished my last GED test Thursday night. I'm not confident in the math portion, though- but reading was fine. Only the Lord knows how I done. I was hoping I would do well enough to be invited to apply for the $1000 GED scholarship, but I don't know with the math end now. The Lord will provide, that I'm sure :o)

Encouragement through loss

My friend A posted a rememberance message on her blog this morning in honor of her baby nephew that died of SIDS one year ago today. As I read through the whole entry from last year, I was encouraged by the faith of this baby's parents. Although we are not facing the loss of a child, we are facing, or having to acknowledge, the loss of what we thought our marriage was.

That post made me think about Jay's Grandma this week, burying the second of her three children at 87 years old. As our Pastor was reading Psalm 23 during the service, Grandma sat there and recited it word for word with him. It made me ponder how anyone survives a trial, without having Christ as their Savior ... and I don't know what we would do without our church, period- and we've never experienced a loss such as above, but God continually uses our church to encourage us, as they have this week.

Here is an exerpt from a post I wrote somewhere else this week:
"Our pastor done the service, and our asst pastor (our SS teacher) come with him. The service was beautiful, Pastor gave the gospel in such a pure manner, extremely tactful for the situation, but as plain as day. So loving. Man, it was such a blessing. of course, I knew it would be for us, cause this is the man who led Jay and I to the Lord. Anything he says is a blessing for us because we know he has a heart of gold.

So I asked my SIL (the one I'm close with) what she thought and she expressed the same thoughts, and said her H (who has been struggling severely with faith the past couple of years) went on and on and on about him last night [Tuesday, the night of the viewing.]. Pastor attended the viewing last night and apparently spent quite a bit of time with BIL last night. SIL said BIL said if they didn't live so far away they'd start coming to our church :)

Then Jay said his other brother and sister (ones we have not seen, well, I just met the brother for the first time sunday night and his sister a couple of times about 6 years ago); both of them expressed feelings of great appreciation for what our church has done and how impressed they were with Pastor, naming a variety of things from how well he remembered names to his concern for people he doesn't know.

My heart is so touched that our church could be such a strong witness to Jay's family. Throughout the ten years Jay and I have been together, the idea of even meeting these people was so far fetched. Even when Jay and his dad reconciled earlier this year, I would have never thought of sharing a meal with his half siblings, and acting like a "real" family. Since his dad died Sunday, every bit of that has changed. We are even making plans for Thanksgiving now."


Monday, November 7, 2005

Jay's father died

They just mended their relationship this year. We knew he was not doing well, as far as his overall health, but his death was sudden, really. He had fluid built up on his lungs, and was admitted to the hospital yesterday. When they intubated him, his heart just gave out. Three of his four arteries were hardening, so his heart was already working overtime. Based on his life testimony, he was not a saved man :( He left six children, Jay, his brother, and their four half siblings. Please pray for Jay as he deals with all of this, that we can be a witness to his family, and for Jackson. Jackson had only met Jay's dad three times in his life, but Jackson spoke very fondly of his "farmer paw-paw" (he lived on a farm, beside a popcorn field, a kid's dream). We haven't told Jackson yet. Not sure how we will, really....

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

Today's "GO" thread

Okay, I'm gonna work on a GO thread today to keep myself going (GO= Get organized):

So far I have unloaded a tote of clothes and sorted them;
washed and dried a load of clothes / blankets;
Sorted and folded two loads that were already dry;
and I'm currently hanging up those clothes while washing / drying another load :)