Monday, May 28, 2007

Oh my goodness look what I found ...

Monday, May 28th, 2007, 4:52 pm


I got an email from www.freehomepage.com and I thought it sounded familiar, so I followed the link and apparently I had an account, so I signed in, and look at what I found!! This page is five years old!!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Whiplash, kicking in

Sunday, May 27th, 2007, 10:50 pm

They said in the ER that I should expect whiplash issues to come along because of the way I fell. I'm going into week three with no narcotic pain killers, and apparently, the system is flushed and now the neck pain is settling in, in a BIG way. I just got home from church and took a valium and vicotin, and I hope it works. I had whiplash 13 years ago, and it went ignored for months cause I didn't know I had it. It ended up messing up the nerves in my arm to where I couldn't lift it. So this week I am going to do some checking with my insurance to see what kind of therapies I can get with my coverage. I also go Tuesday for my sleep study consult. P&PT appreciated!!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

My profile

Sunday, May 20th, 2007, 10:57 pm

I'll eventually add to this post...Shout out for my favorite boards!
Creating Websites and Graphics
Christian Family Life
TV Lovers

In a nutshell:
I'm a 31 yo FT WOTHM to Jackson (1/99) & Hannah (12/01). I've been married to Jay since 7/98, (though we've been together since 2/95.) I work in childcare, and am currently working on as Associate's Degree in Early Childhood Education. In my spare time I love to make digital graphics using PSP8, plus AS3. Jay and I become Christians in May '97, and we are very involved in our church.
Interests & Activities:
I love playing in Paint Shop Pro, creating digital scraps and signatures. Be sure to come by Creating Websites and Graphics and request a siggie there. Practice makes perfect ya know! I also love to cook and have been reading up on various ways to cook (and ultimately eat) healthy (aka "clean eating"). I'm interested in losing a lot of weight ;o) I'm becoming more and more interested in Vegetarianism, and have been hanging out on the Vegetarian Cooking board lately.Causes & Charities I care about:
My children's private Christian school is considered a "charity"; and I care very much about our school and do whatever I can to support it. Outside of missions, our school is my charitable burden. Best advice I have ever gotten:
"Let Go, let God" "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." -- Proverbs 3:5-6 My Hopes & Dreams:
Seeing both of my children living their lives dedicated to serving our Lord Jesus Christ. While only God can actually "accomplish" that, make it happen, as their mother it's my responsibility to live it in front of them. So I'll just keep drawing nearer to him and stay out of His way ;o) Best day of my life (so far!) The day I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart as my Lord and Savior.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

BOTH kids are sick, update on me ...

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007, 11:41 pm


Boy am I ever exhausted!! I'm sleeping so well now. being back at work makes me feel like I was idle here at home. Does that make sense? I got to spend time with my 2 yo buddies today. Out of the 8 classes we have, the two, two year old classes has made the biggest deal about my being back. I took some pics today on my phone that would just crack you UP!!! I got sent down to work with the school-agers this afternoon when it come time for them to get there. "C" just started with this group, having been working with the four yo's for a few months (she started after me). The regular teacher was out today. I did not walk away with a lasting impression of that group as a whole, and I got the distinct impression "C" had the same as I.

She was so frustrated that she had doubts whether she could make it through the summer with that group. Then it hit me as we were giving them snack.... with the younger ones, we're heroes. They do not know better to have formed "real" bad habits yet. They 'live' to do nice things for us. (I have a whole stack of scribble "pictures" that have been drawn for me, lol) .

.... but when you work with these kids ... you are reduced to a mere servant. The rudeness, the disobedience, the eye rolling (from some...), it's just crazy!! I explained to "C" that it was particularly hard for me because here I've spent the past seven years teaching my kids to respect their teachers / elders, etc .. and have good manners and be kind. I just HOPE they do not fall of the wagon and end up like a lot of these kids act! Don't get me wrong, God love them all and if he called me to work with this group I would, but I thank him he hasn't, lol Is that bad? Don't get me wrong, there are a FEW sweet ones ... out of the 25 on roll.

Speaking of 25,(26) my heart is going to break in a few weeks. We do our promotions at church in June so I am working on my admin type stuff for my class, getting updated info, etc ... so far, the best I can tell, I'll have 14 leaving, and 12 staying. I don't know who is moving up from the twos but I am losing over HALF of my roll!!! I remember my first promotion day. I had put my heart and soul into bonding with that class, and it never occurred to me that whole year they'd be leaving one day. I cried for a week, I was a pitiful site. It gets easier, though. It was all worth it two years later when one of the kid's dad stood up in Wednesday night service and announced his dd had gotten saved. That was the first one out of my first class to get saved. and the Lord allowed me to plant those seeds in her heart. THAT still makes me weepy!! It's just so hard to believe it has already been a YEAR and I'm getting a new group to start all over with. Wow.

So MY kids ...

Jackson come home Monday with fever, and vomiting. Jay stayed home with him yesterday, and his fever broke Tuesday night. Jay planned to stay home with him today (school policy is 24 hrs no fever AND no medicine) .... Well, Hannah wake sup with PINK EYE. Lets not forget, she had strep last week (my own dx). So Jay takes them both to the dr today ... they both have infection in their throats, but it's not strep. Hannah indeed has pink eye. Lets remember, we have no health insurance right now on the kids. Jay shelled out $150 today just in 'down pymts' to the dr visit and meds!! They said they'd bill us for the balance. Mom said she would watch them tomorrow. They should be ok to go back on Friday. Jackson's still complaining about his throat hurting. No fever though, PTL He felt SOOOO bad.

On to me ... again ....

I'm so tired. Have I mentioned how tuckered I am?I can barely keep my eyes open and I have two more boards to look at so I'm going to square this one up .... have a great day Thursday, please pray Hannah will let us give her her eyedrops without a fuss!!

Memories of Birthdays

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007, 12:41 am


This week on Connect Carnival, we were challenged to think about birthdays- our own special birthdays or other ones. A few popped into my mind, and I could not choose just one, so you get to hear about three significant birthday memories, have fun!!

The first one I think of is the ONLY thing I have ever pulled over on my husband. It was his ... however old he was birthday party, about six years ago.

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Jay and I had been together a few years. I love birthdays. Birthdays are my "thing", I do not believe that birthday's should ever be overlooked. So, for a couple of years I tried to surprise Jay for his birthday doing this or that, and he always figured it out ahead of time. It would have been the birthday of 1999. Jackson was just a baby then (born 1-2-99). I knew of one person Jay called 'friend", we're both selective in a way about who we call friends vs acquaintances, if that makes sense. It was a guy that was a groomsman in our wedding, and I overheard Jay mention him working at a retail store in town. So I set out for "THE Party". I went and asked his friend to help, because I had heard of two other friends they all used to hang out together, so the groomsman friend agreed to get their end of the party together.
It wasn't a "party party" (that was two years before that), but I arranged for the WHOLE family to be there (like, MY whole family, lotta people), plus his friends. but here's where it got sticky.

I had made the reservation at Sagebrush for the party. I had a custom coca cola cake made for him (had the emblem sprayed on it with the exact font/text, etc ..) ... Jay is a HUGE Coke fan/collector. All the plans were made. It was going to happen. Planned far in advance, I was doing GOOOD. Until we learned we needed to move. When did we move? The day/night before the party. Guess what else happened? I got sick. Like, FEVER sick. Deathly sick- I don't handle fevers well AT ALL. MIL kept insisting that I needed to cancel, but I had NO way of calling his friends, because I always met the one at his pt job to chat about the details! It HAD to happen, whether I was running a 103 fever or NOT!

So I had mom and dad come get Jackson, saying they were in the area and thought they'd give us a small break to have a chance to breathe. Then I mentioned getting something to eat (fevers make me delusional, like I cold eat then ...)

It was crunch time. Now or never. He was so happy to have some downtime he didn't hesitate to question why my parents were in the area, LOL! We ad moved 20 minutes above the city out in "the country". So I pull myself together, and we head out. He asks where would I want to go. I say "Why don;t we go to Sagebrush?- I've never been there ..." (I hadn't, besides planning the party lol) ... he said okay and off we went.

I don't know if it was the moving the day/night beforehand, but boy oh boy would I love to have a picture of the look on his face when he saw everyone there ... plus his friends. He was so surprised, so elated, and had such a good time. I was so happy it worked out well. "The" friend was only able to get in touch with one of their but the one that come, Jay was closer to and had not seen in YEARS.

Little did we know ... that was the last time Jay saw him because six months later he died ... of cancer. Tat is a birthday that will ever remain in my mind, because for one, Jay didn't figure ot out, but two, it showed just how fleeting life really is. *

--------------------------------------------- ------ The second one, was my 21st birthday.
Nothing outstandingly "special" except it was my only birthday party that BOTH sides, mom and dad's side, attended. It was really nice. Like true redneck style we had cases on cases of beer, I think we had a game of something going on ... and we roasted a deer shoulder on a sphit in the yard LOL!! But WOW was it good!! I was drunk for most of the afternoon, into the evening. The cookout was at lunchtime, and was over by 6.

So we chilled out a little bit, Jay took me to dinner (Rock-ola) where I got to order my first "Sex on the Beach" legally, lol Then after dinner we done the traditional "go-into-the-convenience-store-so-you-can-get -carded" trip ... and the guy didn't card me!!!

A little bit of history here. Jay and I met at work ... at a convenience store. he was my "new boss" that got transferred to the store I was at. We then helped my uncle start his own store, and it had not been too long before my birthday that Jay had got hit with the alcohol people (another post for another day) and had to do community service. So I knew all about the "consequences of not carding".

Needless to say, I gave the guy a (howbeit cute) lecture on how he should be glad it was the day it was or .... (blah blah blah), and made him card me in keeping with "tradition", LOL!!!

As Forest would say "That's all I'm gonna talk about right now" (or something like that, right?)

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The third one, was my 15th birthday (sorry, earlier it said 14, it was 15).
My parents never really instigated a social life for me. I never had birthday parties as a kid, aside from the 7th grade dinner we had ... at Rock-Ola (LOL) with three or four friends. Then at the ripe ol age of 14, my parents done the .... unbelievable for a 14 year old girl, but, they allowed me to have my first "real boyfriend", real as in, he had a car and drove it places-real, a whole two years older than me. ::deep dreamy sigh::: ;O) We had started dating in March, and my birthday is July 30th. It was your average day, I had antipcipated a GREAT night out with my honey and nothing else mattered. We decided to go to an early movie ... so we went to see Point Break. (Whatever happened to Patrick Swayze??)

Completely oblivious to everything else around me, we finished with the movie and was headed back to my house to hang out. We pull down the road I lived on, and all sorts of cars were at my house. They had planned a surprise party and he was apparently in on it! Had a bunch of friends there, it was just great. I actually still have a picture somewhere of a group of us at the party.

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So you see my theme with memories of birthdays, surprises and loved ones, basically. But I love surprises. I love giving them and getting them. I guess the reason these birthdays all popped into my mind at once, was because they were all shared with the people I cared about most; and to know someone cares enough about you to put forth the effort to surprise you in honor of the day you were born (even though as teenagers it was "party time!!", lol); but in Jay's case, to actually get something by him ... *snicker* hehehe ... it will be a long time before that happens again ... maybe.

Or maybe not?

First Day Back To Work (yesterday!)

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007, 12:32 am

Thanks for the prayers everyone. I had a massive headache last night. Fell asleep by 9:30, slept the whole night. That felt SO good. My hours have changed and I'm now 8-5, BIG blessing! IT's taking some adjustments and I'm still having to be careful, and I'm dog tired, but other than that ... glad to be back! :)

Monday, May 14, 2007

Returning to Work Monday

Monday, May 14th, 2007, 3:50 am


Not quite sure what to think, I taught my class at church for one hour and my nose was hurting by the time we left church- for all the talking I was doing :( How in the world am I going to last 8 hours? :-O

I done some grocery shopping this evening, met the family (Jay, the kids, BIL&SIL, and MIL) at O'Charleys for dinner. After I got home around 9-10pm I started workingin the kitchen unpacking everything, etc. I noticed the comedy hour from CMT wa son (which was odd, cause, I don;t watch CMT!) and I thought I was going to DIE laughing, this guy had me snorting and in tears he was so hilarious. Of course, he was speaking from a Southern point of view, so, others may not appreciate the type of humor it is, but ... oh man how I wish I could find a video on it ;o)

So I sat sorting through all my bulk items I got (seeds, nuts, so forth) getting them into containers ... while we watched the Giant show or whatever with Jeff Foxworthy. I LOVE Jeff Foxworthy! This one had Kenny Rogers guest starring, and they sang Islands in the Stream, with Jeff doing Dolly's part (youtube) ;o) TOO funny ... so by then I am working on the kid's snacks and stuff for tomorrow.

I made (homemade)

Trail Mix Granola seed bars
started almond milk
my salad for lunch tomorrow
got the kid's apples/celery sliced for their snacks tomorrow
But the thing was, when I was making the seed bars ... first. I overheated the honey in the microwave. and accidentally SPILLED IT ON MY HAND. I guess I'm just pitiful!! Jay come in asking what was wrong, bagged me some ice, it hurt for three hours afterwards. I don't recommend breaking your nose, OR spilling hot honey on your hand!

I'm so tired, time to go to bed. Mother's day was ok, we ended up at IHOP after church for lunch.

Have a great day and I'll go ahead and say I appreciate all the P&PT you can give!!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

What was BAD, just become GOOD *g*

Sunday, May 13th, 2007, 1:04 am


Okay, so lately, Hannah has been a REAL pill. Not all the time, but she WHINES. and she acts like the whole world should revolve around her at times. Well with recent events, this has rolled ALL over me.

When Spiderman 2 come out, we went to the midnight premiere, and took Jackson. This was his first movie. he had a BALL, and stayed awake the whole time. Well, when they announced "S3- May 2007", he started counting down the days and months (me too). Fast forward to last week, I mention to Jay last Friday about getting a babysitter for Hannah so we could go to the midnight screening. Then he informed me we were a day late, he didn't give thought to going to the midnight premiere this time. Chalk it up to miscommunication? As much as it had been talked about, I thought it "went without saying".

So yesterday, I made arrangements for Hannah to sleep over at my parents so we could go see the movie. We were going to the 8:30 showing, It was around 4pm. I knew I would need to take at least a short nap to really enjoy the movie. So I done as usual, told the kids not to argue, set the alarms (house and phone to wake up), told Hannah Jackson was in charge, place nice. Not 30 minutes into my nap Hannah comes in my room all but demanding I fix her a bowl of oatmeal. In my sleep, I tell her wait until I get up and I will ... but GO, you're disobeying me (by coming in the room and not bleeding, having a broken bone, the house being on fire or a weird message coming over the computer Jackson cannot fix (lol) ) ... well the whining started. Flopped down on the floor, got that "tone" in her voice. I sit up in bed, look at her, and tell her to leave my room, not to speak, not to whine when she gets out of my room, and I will fix it for her when I get up which wold had been shortly.

She would not take no for an answer. I unglued (started yelling). I don't unglue often. It takes a lot nowadays for me to get unglued. But I not only become unglued, I was outraged. I have had ENOUGH of her behavior! Her period of grace with me is OVER!!! Done!! It's no longer allowed to be a little "phase of passage" that most 5 year olds go through, I am NOT going to tolerate it anymore!

--------------------------------------------- ---------------------

total sidetrack / vent:

I have been patient, I have talked with her about her behavior, what she is doing exactly, WHY it is not good, How bad it makes her look to others and God, How bad it makes everyone else around here feel, and how she will get no where acting like that. I have purposely not fed her because of fits she has pitched over wanting certain foods that I've said no to at a certain time. She CHOSE not to eat, so that was fine. Eventually she'll make the connection! I have shared with her appropriate ways to ask for something, why it is best to accept the answer you are given and be patient, and you will be blessed ... and the times she has, I have DOUBLY praised her, given extra treats ... explained how I was right (lol) ...

Jackson, is winning, for him, in his lesson of longsuffering with his sister ... if that boy was not saved and did not have the restraint of the holy spirit on his life he would have already beaten her down a time or two before I could have possibly stopped it. Seriously! Do not underestimate the wrath of a spirited red headed boy. It's not a myth, they're different! Thank the LORD he is saved now!!

Anyway, her fit turned into a spanking for her, and time in her room to calm down. I am not raising my kids to, when sent to their room, to sit in there yelling and wailing over what they're wanting, be it this, that, or the other. With Jackson I learned that was his passive aggressive way of trying to make me miserable and getting in the 'last word', because if he yelled long enough, cried long enough, screamed long enough, threw things in his room around long enough, he could possibly get his way. Unfortunately for Hannah, having as such a hell-child as her brother was at that age, my tolerance for that is zilch, and I, with her, know better (LOL!!)

--------------------------------------------- -------------------

So onto the blessings. I informed her that she was supposed to be going to maw maw & paw paws for a sleepover, but because she decided to act like a yahoo, she would not be going. I do not share our plans with our kids ahead of time. There have been too many times in their little lives that they could have been so disappointed in failed plans ... we just do not say it is going to happen until we're in the car and on the way, pretty much. So Jackson, through all of this, was oblivious to the fact that because of Hannah, he was not going to get to see Spiderman 3. see? it works, seriously ;)

But *I* knew we were not going to get to see the movie. I had enough disappointment for both of us. Jay had invited friends to go with us. I hated it, but Hannah was not going to achieve her purpose ... her misbehavior is getting her into possible situations where by her not listening to me, she is going to get hurt soon. Just like when Jackson was five and was running across a parking lot and about run into the MAIN ROAD- almost killed him self not listening to me behind him screaming to STOP RUNNING!!! By only God's grace is that child alive today.

I wonder how many freak accidents has happened with kids getting hurt, that could have been avoided, if the child would have only obeyed instantly, like they were being taught. I remember reading an article, about a father seeing a big poisonous spider crawling up his daughter's shoulderblade towards her neck. He said- "DON'T move a MUSCLE", and she froze instantly, did not even ask why. He was able to get the spider off of her before she realized what was even happening. can you imagine if she mouthed off to her dad "well why, why why?" as she kept walking around, possibly towards him, and decided to smack at her neck thinking a mosquito or something was flying around her, she could have gotten bit and died before they could get out of the woods to the nearest hospital!! That story will never leave my mind as long as I live.

--------------------------------------------- ---------

Oh, I'm sorry, I digressed again.

So we missed Spiderman 3 last night. GREAT Bummer.
So the computer was rebooted and whenever it boots, AIM automatically starts, launching IE to their homepage (so all I gotta do is click on MY homepage button to get to my own business... But I saw a blurb on there about seeing S3 in IMAX. Hmm ... IMAX. That sounded familiar. So I clicked in, and checked for IMAX viewings to see if it was what I was thinking about ... but it showed our regular theaters, the one we were going to see last night anyway. What was the big deal in my mind seeing IMAX? kwim?

OH! I remember. At the beginning of the school year Jackson's class went to this Discovery Museum / Place for Kids (in Charlotte), and they were supposed to see this nature movie in their IMAX theater. Oh but my friends. We didn't get to see the movie because we were late. But me, being nosy, stepped into the theater room to see why we traveled two hours ... to see a nature movie? Oh WOOOOOOWWWWW. It was nothing like I had seen before.

The screen is THREE STORIES HIGH, and 80 FEET WIDE, (needless to say "deep stadium seating"?). The screen is a DOME that extends around your peripheral field is view. It is TEN TIMES bigger than traditional theaters. You actually are reclined back in your seat to a degree to experience the entire screen. It literally sticks you IN the movie.

So are you getting why I am telling you this?

Spiderman 3 is being shown at their theater!!!!

YES the ticket prices are higher than your average theater, but doggone it! We are SO there!!! I gave up going to the banquet tonight (discouraged,really) ... I will not go out to eat tomorrow if we need to, but we are going next weekend to see this movie!!! I can only imagine the look on Jackson's face when he realizes what we will be doing. Im SOOOO excited!! God turned that horrible experience last night into a HUGE blessing, I would have never clicked through trying to figure out the difference with the IMAX thing if I had not missed seeing it last night!!

Woo-Hooooooo!!!! *g*

Friday, May 11, 2007

Had to go back to the dr ...

Friday, May 11th, 2007, 1:31 am


I was putting moisturizer on this morning, and when got to my nose I heard a snap'ish, crackle'ish, and pop-but-more-like-a-thump. I thought, "uh oh", but it's not like it really HURT. I felt it, and I audibly heard it, but it did not HURT.

But as the day progressed, it felt more and more uncomfortable. I got worried cause I'm going back to work on Monday. I need to. So I called the ENT this afternoon and they had me come in right then.

I'm going to back up a little, when I was getting my pre-op paperwork done for my surgery, some fine print popped out at me saying "Patient understands that the surgery might not achieved the desired outcome".. I asked "huh?" and they said "legality", and I said "oh". Let me refer back to my last update:

But they said for a broken nose, it takes around nine months to a year for it to completely heal. This means, I will be having to go back periodically for the next year to ensure that the bones are settling correctly, no infection, etc. What UNsettled me was, she said in some cases, they have to do additional surgery!! :-O Oh my word! She said of course it would be if the way it was healing was interfering with my breathing.

That was last Friday. So he looks at my nose, feeling where the bones broke. Then checked inside. My bones are still "healing nicely", but my septum is definitely still "scooted" ... Lets translate: OUT OF PLACE ... "Deviated"!!!!

I was telling mom this morning my nose was crooked!!!! He (the dr) said he'd seen worse, but he'd seen better. But for the severity of the break as a whole, he was impressed with how well the bones were healing all things considered.

He asked how I was sleeping, and I said crappy. He went ahead and scheduled the consult for the sleep study for the 29th, and they would schedule the actual study then. He's concerned about sleep apnea.

At surgery time, they had asked about ringing in my ears. So I have been paying attention, and yes, there's ringing. So they done a hearing test while I was there today. It's funny. I've always thought I was hard of hearing. Jay's even said. he says I never listen to him. he can be sitting three feet away and I can be oblivious to what he's saying ... I honestly felt I did not hear him!!

So here's the thing. I have, almost PERFECT hearing, LMBO!! He said out of a hundred people, I would be in the top five percent. But this is what is happening, he said I hear so well, that living in the city, constant background noises around, etc .. my brain will tend to overload on sound, and for example will "say" "I'm going to tune out 20% of all sounds around me", so no matter what is going on around, because of the hypersensitivity, I don't hear it. He said that it's common for people who have hypersensitive hearing (there's another term he used..) to be labeled as ADD ... iinntteerreessttiinnggg!!!!

So Jay, I'm sorry dear, I really have been ignoring you, but it's not my fault ;)

I'm very bothered by this news that the surgery did not go as I was understanding it would. I understood that I would have a straight nose when this all come out. I can understand that people who do not look at my face every time that they go to the bathroom, put on their make up, check out their outfits, look in the rearview mirror of their car, so forth, so on ... cannot see, that my nose is NOT the same as it was before I accidentally went bopping for gravel (Thanks D, for that term ;)

But the fact remains, *I* know it's not right, and *I AM* the one who sees my face every time that I go to the bathroom, put on my make up, check out my outfits, look in the rearview mirror of my car, so forth, so on .... every time I look in the mirror I SEE that gravel driveway coming at my face knowing there's not going to be anything I could do in that split second to prevent myself from being hurt!! I am reminded multiple times daily of what has happened these last few weeks. The pain ... the pain ... and right now I am starting to be reminded DAILY of the consequences of being out of work for two weeks with NO PAY!!!

I am also reminded, though praise God I can and do not want to seem ungrateful, but I also realize that my insurance is NOT going to pay to correct this BECAUSE it is NOT interfering with my ability to breathe!! Yes, I would rather have a crooked nose than an inability to breathe correctly, but why should I have to choose?

Therefore, in the next nine to twelve months after they deem my bones "healed", my nose will become a matter of plastic surgery. Cosmetic. Jennifer Aniston, send me some money, please? Cause I added it up today, and we will not have that kind of money to toss around unless something GREATLY changes in the next 6-13 years because we have children to put through school. and I do know, that is more important than a crooked nose. I know that people will still love me despite, but it's despite, because they cannot see, or perhaps just don't know the difference?

Proof in point- I call Jackson over to me at mom and dad's today and say frankly, "Jackson, does my nose look straight?" He looks with this discerning look on his ace for a few seconds, cocks his head to the side, and says ... "NO"- and runs off to play.

The honesty of a child.

::::sigh::::

Thursday, May 10, 2007

My morning, how was yours?

Thursday, May 10th, 2007, 7:45 am


Hannah-isms:

"I can do it myself- thank you very much..." (tyvm)

"when I didn't think he was coming back I missed him, (Daddy), but now that he's coming back, I don't miss him. Do you know what I mean?" (kwim?)

She'll be texting in no time ;)

Jackson-isms:

"Hannah, that was called sarcasm" ....

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Happy? Birthday ^Baby^

Tuesday, May 8th, 2007, 5:08 pm



I was up until 6am this morning. I was here on the board reading and responding to a thread until 4:30am, when I realized "crap, it's 4:30". So I tried to go to sleep, and was sooooo restless. I took some benedryl, and knocked out. Jay woke me up this morning to communicate his morning plans because he left today to work out of town. In the middle of it all the school called and Hannah was with fever and throwing up. He went and got her. He shared the suprise he found when going to rent a car for his trp, that our car insurance was cancelled. He had to fix that this morning. Bless his heart.

So I wake up as he leaves for his trip, I dunno, 1 or so. I get up and come to the board to finish reading the thread I was reading cause last night I was enjoying it. Two hours ago, my mood started to change. As I started writing out a reply I never thought I would be writing, my neurotic tendancy to look at details, as I mentioned my CL anniversery ... I went to be sure I remembered the exact day. I know it's May, but I have a lot of May events happening and fr anyone who knows me, knows most of the time I remember nothing.


Okay, so my anniversery is the 21st ... I look at the date (cause with my being out of work, the date has to be sought) ... it's the 8th.


If cancer had not taken ^Temone's^ life, he would have turned 13 years old today. and Hannah's home. She's not suposed to be here yet. I'm a wreck. She cannot see me cry, because if she does, she'll want to talk about it. I don't have the energy to talk about it. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest ... again.


Not to mention, we just found out last week that Tiffany, MIL's dog, Temone "wife" if you will (they did have 5 puppies together ;), her cancer has come back. But she has lymphoma, treatable with chemo, so they're starting her treatments again. Since the last bout she goes in every month for a checkup. It still doesn't make things easier.


Humans are so much easier to grieve for :.....o(


So Happy Birthday ^Moni^, and thank God for grandpuppies ... that stay in the family.


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Friday, May 4, 2007

When a door is closed, a window is opened!

Friday, May 4th, 2007, 6:46 pm



Yesterday I asked for prayer for one of Jay's friends from my prayer warriors on Christian Family Life. Well, I didn't get the anwer I was initially wanting, BUT, God is better to me (and us!) than I can think of.


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I'm linking to the posts so you will know what all is going on and I won't have to copy and paste, but you will need to go read them before going on with this post to appreciate "everything".


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Today, in a nutshell, "C" come back by work today and took all of "the guys", their "gang" out to lunch. When he got ready to leave, he asked Jay for "a couple bucks". Jay didn't have cash on him so "J" (Jay's best friend) handed it to him. "C" then gave Jay a big envelope. (I'm ready to cry again, this is why it took me 2 hours to post the last post!) ... the envelope contained a bill of sale to the car he's been letting Jay drive ... and the title, and the insurance information. He sold the car to Jay for two dollars. The loan value on this car is $3k!!! God is soooo good to us, we are so undeserving!! I told Jay this morning before he left that God was gonna take care of us with my being out of work for so long. God wants us to look to him for our needs, if we'd just quit trying to run our own lives and let him take the wheel! PTL!!


Update on his friend job wise- it looks like he's got that other job, they're just working out the details *g*

Nose update (5/4)

Friday, May 4th, 2007, 6:03 pm



So went with my followup with the ENT this morning. I am out of work for another week! :-O I thought it was crazy! But they said for a broken nose, it takes around nine months to a year for it to completely heal. This means, I will be having to go back periodically for the next year to ensure that the bones are settling correctly, no infection, etc. What UNsettled me was, she said in some cases, they have to do additional surgery!! :-O Oh my word! She said of course it would be if the way it was healing was interfering with my breathing. Lets pray I won't have to do that again. I'd rather get pregnant and do another c/s before I have surgery on my nose again.


But conclusion is, it's healing, however slowly ... it IS healing. For that I'm thankful. Even though we don't physically see the swelling outwardly, inside there's still a lot of swelling ... oh and I have to keep snorting Afrin every few hours (uhg). What else. Oh I will be finishing my oxy codone Rx this weekend according to the number I have left, so that will lead me to the eventual weaning off the narcotics by the time I get back to work. The plan will be run out of oxy codone, go down to vicotin, and eventually work myself down to ibuprofen. I actually giggle at the thought of ibuprofen helping with this pain I have right now ....


She did explain it well. She said that you can basically say, I've had two injuries in two weeks. The initial break, injury one. Then the reset was an injury in that they actually went in, and moved my bones around. FTR, it felt like they moved my bones around, too. So my nose has been "interrupted" twice ;o) It just amazes me, cause when Jackson broke his arm, there weren't near as many concerns when they set the bones back together. But I guess dealing with the face it's completely different because there are SO many areas that can be affected around the nose verses any other bone.


My next appointment is May 30th and I have "homework" for that appointment. They want Jay to watch me sleep, and look at how much I actually snore, the sound of the snore, if it appears I stop breathing for any amount of time, how much I jerk in my sleep (I know I do, at times I feel like I'm coming off the bed), how long I sleep and how quickly I become tired again .. you know, that kind of stuff. Then at the next appointment he will look at what we've recorded, do his examination, and possibly refer me for a sleep study. They said it could be possible that my septum was deviated before the break and has contributed to my lack of quality of sleep. So since they've corrected the deviation, it's possible I might be sleeping better than I was before the break- that is, after the swelling goes down more.


I felt so bad calling my boss this afternoon. I know it's put them in a bind staff wise but what am I supposed to do? Worker's Comp is not going to pay out anything if my recovery is hindered because of going back to work too soon. They said NO bending my head over, at all. They said if I worked in an office on a computer all day, it would be fine. But I work with people that are two feet tall. Just a few weeks ago my boss and I were discussing the amount of migraines I have had since I started working. The angle I keep my head at most of the time has GOT to have a LOT to do with it, holding my head down at an angle, putting tension in my neck, which puts tension in the nerves going up to my head, which triggers pain signals in my brain, thus causing headaches. That's my theory, anyway. Oh but lets not forget about the teeth grinding theory, along with the TMJ we know I have thanks to Dr Cedric from the ER.


Such is my life. I've been working on this post for almost 2 hours now, and I got some GREAT news in the process! So I shall make another post for that *g*

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Nose update (5/1)

Tuesday, May 1st, 2007, 7:04 pm


This has been a rough weekend / past few days.
Pain: My pain level is higher now than it was a week ago. I found it very interesting. I go to the ER with a broken nose and they send me home with a Rx for Vicotin. Which I'm not complaining, that's goof stuff for pain. So I go in for surgery a week later to reset the bones, and they send me home with a Rx for Oxycodone (Percoset) ... which for those who aren't familiar with this drug family, is about two times stronger than Vicotin. That tells me they were expecting the pain to be worse!! and guess what? It IS!

I have been afraid of developing a resistence to these meds so Sunday night I took a Vicotin instead of a Percoset. At the hospital when going over my pain mgmt plan they emphasized staying ahead of the pain, not catching up with the pain. Well, I realized yesterday my pain was not getting better, because taking that Vicotin appparently got me behind the pain, cause I was hurting ... allll day yesterday.

Sleeping. Ever since this happened I have been sleeping in Jay's recliner to keep my head elevated, so I could breathe better. One night last week I slept in the bed for a few hours and I was hurting there afterwards. Last night Jay and I were watching a movie in bed and fell asleep. I slept all night in bed, and when I woke this morning- OUCH!! I got back in the recliner and slept most of the day today with a buncha meds. I'm thinking, that when I sleep in bed, it allows me to just wholler around, digging my face in my pillow, etc .. and I really think sleeping on one side of my face puts more pressure on the given side and adds to the pain.

They've suggested that when this is over, that I ask my family Dr about going for a sleep study. When this first began they asked about whether I snored or not, to which, yes, I've been told I snore. I'm guessing f if I didn't snore and started to after the break, that it would give them clues to what was going on with my nasal passages? When I described my normal sleeping habits, things Jay have said, how I always feel fatigued no matter how much I sleep at night. So that's the next thing on the agenda. Well, along with persuing treatment for the TMJ. I am almost excited about the TMJ news. To think that there might be a way to get rid of my migraines?! I say Hallelujah!!

Overall, besides the pain and sleeping issues, I've been exhausted, but very restless. Not restless to the point I'm up to doing anything, I've been most productive online, though. I've been making a good number of signatures, and am going to attempt digiscrapping some this week. I've downloaded a TON of free kits and can't wait to actually try some out. I have a picture of Hannah that is just perfect to scrap :o)

So I guess that's it for now. I look forward to seeing your comments and thank you for checking up on me!! (((hugs))))

Nose update (5/1)

Tuesday, May 1st, 2007, 7:04 pm


This has been a rough weekend / past few days.
Pain: My pain level is higher now than it was a week ago. I found it very interesting. I go to the ER with a broken nose and they send me home with a Rx for Vicotin. Which I'm not complaining, that's goof stuff for pain. So I go in for surgery a week later to reset the bones, and they send me home with a Rx for Oxycodone (Percoset) ... which for those who aren't familiar with this drug family, is about two times stronger than Vicotin. That tells me they were expecting the pain to be worse!! and guess what? It IS!

I have been afraid of developing a resistence to these meds so Sunday night I took a Vicotin instead of a Percoset. At the hospital when going over my pain mgmt plan they emphasized staying ahead of the pain, not catching up with the pain. Well, I realized yesterday my pain was not getting better, because taking that Vicotin appparently got me behind the pain, cause I was hurting ... allll day yesterday.

Sleeping. Ever since this happened I have been sleeping in Jay's recliner to keep my head elevated, so I could breathe better. One night last week I slept in the bed for a few hours and I was hurting there afterwards. Last night Jay and I were watching a movie in bed and fell asleep. I slept all night in bed, and when I woke this morning- OUCH!! I got back in the recliner and slept most of the day today with a buncha meds. I'm thinking, that when I sleep in bed, it allows me to just wholler around, digging my face in my pillow, etc .. and I really think sleeping on one side of my face puts more pressure on the given side and adds to the pain.

They've suggested that when this is over, that I ask my family Dr about going for a sleep study. When this first began they asked about whether I snored or not, to which, yes, I've been told I snore. I'm guessing f if I didn't snore and started to after the break, that it would give them clues to what was going on with my nasal passages? When I described my normal sleeping habits, things Jay have said, how I always feel fatigued no matter how much I sleep at night. So that's the next thing on the agenda. Well, along with persuing treatment for the TMJ. I am almost excited about the TMJ news. To think that there might be a way to get rid of my migraines?! I say Hallelujah!!

Overall, besides the pain and sleeping issues, I've been exhausted, but very restless. Not restless to the point I'm up to doing anything, I've been most productive online, though. I've been making a good number of signatures, and am going to attempt digiscrapping some this week. I've downloaded a TON of free kits and can't wait to actually try some out. I have a picture of Hannah that is just perfect to scrap :o)

So I guess that's it for now. I look forward to seeing your comments and thank you for checking up on me!! (((hugs))))