Thursday, April 9, 2009

It's not for you to know

We've been dealing with some disobedience in the house lately. Not neccessarily outright defiance at their ages but, not "instant" obedience. The "delayed obedience" kind. Isn't it amazing how, when you pray for someone else, you are blessed? You are praying for someone else to be a blessing to them, to intercede for them, yet, you seem to be blessed in being a part of it or the fellowship is so sweet between you and the Lord. The common theme right now is- "it doesn't matter WHY I want you to do it, JUST DO IT". It's nerve racking to try to teach your children to just trust that when you tell them to do it, that you actually know what you're talking about! Isn't that the same way with us and God?

As parents, isn't it amazing how much we see aspects of ourselves in our kids- in the current state? Sometimes I think God gave me my kids to give me a peep into my own relationship with the Lord. Jackson so desperately wants to get back to his old school. We want them there, too, but Jackson's passion on the subject is coming from his perspective, not ours. So it makes it different. however we keep encouraging him, that while he is still at his current school, he needs to do what is expected of him and "bloom where you're planted". As few months ago I started getting a deep burden about us adopting. Jay is not ready for that kind of chapter in our life, so the answer from the Lord, through Jay, was to wait. So I've waited. and waited. and waited. and I've prayed. and prayed. and prayed.

Thousands of thoughts have went through my mind. How long will the process take, after we start? It can take up to a year. The child I have my eye on (that sounds horrible, but there's a story behind that) is nine. If we start NOW, he would be ten by the time we got him. What kind of life does he have now? is it good? oh no what if it's bad?! What if he's in one of "those" foster homes where the parents are doing it "for the checks"? (I can't imagine...) The "mama bear" in me wants to fly out and get him TODAY. But obviously, that's not God's plan. We keep telling Jackson the answer to his prayers is "wait", and God's answer to my own prayers concerning adoption is to "wait".

But WHY? I told a family member the other night I'd love nothing more than to tear the kids out of their current school, eight weeks left, and put them in their old school. Only eight weeks left- but if given the opportunity, you wouldn't see me blink before I said yes. I don't know why we have to wait, but we do. and because God said we do, we must learn to be content where we are, learn what God is wanting us to learn and do what He is wanting us to do in the herenow.

I read this morning:

Acts 1
7And he said unto them, It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power.

8But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.

See? There it is in the bible. It is not up to me to know when we will be able to adopt, that's God's timing. Jackson doesn't know if they'll get to go back to their old school next school year or not. He is starting to understand, that that news will come in God's good timing.

At least Jackson has a timeline to go by ;o)

But for now, we will serve the Lord, and be His witnesses and carry out the great commission.


  1. ((((((Wendy)))))) BIG BIG hugs!!! I'm so sorry to hear you are going thru so much turmoil. I pray it gets better.

  2. (((Brenda))) I wouldn;t call it turmoil. It's not really 'that' bad. It's just with the kid's school, he's worn out, it's been seven months, I'm worn out hearing about it, etc .. it's more of a spiritual battle than anything. We're ok, we're just putting our heads down and plowing through. If we could get to a point of a definate "yes" with the school (ie: our own finances) we could at least take a deep breath :p