When you're getting ready in the morning, sometimes on a deadline (getting ready for school) and the clock is ticking ... "we need to leave in ten minutes!" "five minutes and you're shoes and socks aren't on!" so forth. Those are the moments that lends for my voice to rise. (How about you?)Then there are the times when you see them do or say something that takes your breath away (at times) ... in a stressed mood already and you find a big bowl of popcorn under Hann .. er, your daughter's bed along with an old cup of Coke, and a TON of candy wrappers. You just want to scream "YOU HEATHENS!!" sometimes, right? C'mon, you know you've thought it before. After reading Numbers in my bible reading recently, I've come to think of those moments as "Moses" moments. God has given us the responsibility of raising our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We're to lead by example. By leading through example, they will be able to see God through us, therefore strengthening their faith as they grow as well.
That sounds good theoretically speaking, but it's a LOT harder than it looks because lets face it- we're sinners, too- right?
The bible says:
Numbers 20:
7And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
8Take the rod,
and gather thou the assembly together, thou, and Aaron thy brother, and speak ye
unto the rock before their eyes; and it shall give forth his water, and thou shalt bring forth to them water out of the rock: so thou shalt give the congregation and their beasts drink.
9And Moses took the rod from before the LORD, as he commanded him.
10And Moses and Aaron gathered the congregation together before the rock, and he said unto them, Hear now, ye rebels; must we fetch you water out of this rock?
11And Moses lifted up his hand, and with his rod he smote the rock twice: and the water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their beasts also.
12And the LORD spake unto Moses and Aaron, Because ye believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore ye shall not bring this
congregation into the land which I have given them.
13This is the water of Meribah {contention}; because the children of Israel strove with the LORD, and he was sanctified in them.
WOW~ I wonder what kind of blessings we as parents have blown because of how we have acted in front of our kids? Is it unbelief that we can have the strength to control our mouths when our pressure cooker of a temper gets ready to blow? How do you balance the tone of your voice in terms of volume, with terms of meaning? You want them to know you are serious, so a soft "now now little Susie you need to clean your room right now" might not work for every family, as each child and parent processes things differently. I was recently informed that my level of calm was TOO calm, because when I disciplined one of my children they were not fearful of the fact they had crossed that line with me, where they would had been with their father. All this work I had put in with taming my "passion" (translate- anger) with this child, for it to slap me in the face! Where if I dealt with the other child with the "passion" this child was actually asking for, it would be too emotional for the other one.That, my friends, has been my "head shaking parental moment" of late. I was told by a child I was too calm when disciplining them :p I wonder though, if that's truly the case, why don't they respond when I start raising the volume? Kids! So I'm searching for different ways now in how to work with my children, when I go to have a "Moses" moment. Moments when I do not glorify God in how I deal with my child. Apparently, dealing in an overly calm manner has not glorified God with one of my children (yes, I'm giggling still, at this thought.)
I giggle because I have tried so hard in recent years to get away from a "brawling" attitude that is spoken of in Proverbs. I've strove to get away from nagging, to get away from being contentious with the kids- because when you nag a child, you are banging your head against a wall. It is so easy for our emotions to get away from us, and I have strived to really reel in my reactions.
Proverbs says:
Proverbs 25
27It is not good to eat much honey: so for men to search their own glory is not glory.
28He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
14Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:
15Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
I have tried to deal with my children in ways that does not allow for them to become bitter towards me and subsequently God. By that I mean, in all things, I ask them what they think God would think about what they were doing. The older going through more emotional ups and downs in recent months, his heart is much more tender spiritually speaking. I don't want him to do right for fear of me, I want him to do right because he knows he would be pleasing God through his actions. Because he is saved, that, for me, is more important. Him being the one with the temper, I want to be the example for him that indeed, one that has no rule over their own spirit is a city just waiting to be attacked from any angle.
I talk with parents who are not Christian parents and that is a big difference in parenting perspective, I've noticed. One in particular a while back, the mother spoke of catching her kids smoking her cigarettes. She talked about the "butt busting" they got for doing so. It sounded like she really put them through the ringer in that situation verbally and physically. Did it do any good? I don't know. Her kids will likely smoke when they're old enough, if not before. My point in mentioning this though, is, she was very confident in the way she handled that situation, making sure I knew the amount of control she had in her kid's life. I don't want sole control in my kids lives. Both of them have accepted Christ as their Savior- I want GOD to have control. Don't take me wrong, I realize my responsibility in needing to teach them how to follow God, they're not on their own, trust me ;o) I want them to know, though, that when I discipline them, I am doing do because God has instructed me to as their mother.
I'm so thankful I do not have to do this alone, and God is here with me helping me, guiding me, and giving me wisdom along the way. Aren't you?
Hebrews 13:
5Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
8Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.
"Moses moments":
Acting in a manner towards our children that does not bring God the glory in your life through your interactions with them.
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