Sunday, December 18, 2005

Our day today

Okay I'm gonna confess and let you in on something. Yeeesss, I'm gonna share about our day, but I'm also trying to figure out how to get my posts on "short" instead of "full" since I have that huge article up now, lol It didn't do anything different so I'm wondering if it goes "short" for all new posts done after the settings has been changed.

Today was, ok. My depression is getting worse. I've been off of my meds for over a month now, and I am really feeling it combined with the seasonal stress. I'm trying to keep my emotions of depression separate from my logical thinking patterns, if you will, because this is an easy time for me to slide right into sinful patterns. I don't want nor need that. But at the same time, I feel hyper sensitive to things and wonder at times if it's me or is that really how things are. We got this thing going on with my class (3 yo nursery) at church, and I'm just dumbfounded at the way things have been done. I'm afraid my emotions are coming through my expressions even though I'm not outwardly saying anything. It's so hard to know sometimes. At other times, it's just so hard- period.

We didn't put our tree up today. We went to my aunt's house for lunch after church. We had a very nice time visiting over there. She has two shitzu puppies that are just adorable. Well, one isn;t a puppy any more but them being "miniature", you see a puppy when you look at them. She got Temone in at the groomers tomorrow, so he finally gets to go get beautified. I'll be glad to have my dog "back", he's feeling as crappy as I am these days with his hair not being cut. He's a schnauzer, ya know.

Anyhow, we were going to do the tree after lunch. Then Jay's mom called saying her plumbing was down again so he had to go down there to fix that. The kids and I staryed here and I told them the sooner they napped, the quicker they'd wake up and we'd put the tree up (but not decorate it). They started playing when they were supposed to be resting despite my warning, which led to both of them getting spankings and then after that they DID go to sleep. Then I go to lay down, read my bible a bit, and ponder why my kids have to result to being spanked before they obey me these days. I

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