Monday, January 16, 2006

Oy am I a bad blogger!! (update)

How quick does a week pass by when you have other things demanding your attention!! It has been a week since I even posted!! As you can see though I have managed to add my weight loss ticker to the top here, so each time I visit my own blog (which, of course I double check every post, LOL) Ill have to look at my progress, good or bad.

This week was a good week, though, according to my scales. It may have something to do with the .3 mile I have to walk TO campus, then again, FROM campus from my parking spot. Not to mention hopping from building to building, going up and down the stairs with a 30 lb book bag! I took a picture on the first day of what my walk looks like, but I believe I will take another one tomorrow from my more accurate parking space, a bit further away than the first day. One lot, to be exact.

My classes seem to be great. My most challenging one is Algebra simply because the girls that sit around me talk endlessly during the homework time, and it's distracting to me. Other than that, it's grreeaaatt! Two quotes from me teachers this week that got me tickled:

One teacher noticed as he was handing out syllabuses that the back row was completely full. He says "Ahhhh, just like the back row of a Baptist church, chock full. I might as well move all of you up to the front!", which cracked me up as I was sitting at the same angle from his lectern as I do from my pastor, on front row, when I'm in church, LOL!!!

Then another teacher, while explaining her cell phone policy, gave a very vivid example. Her policy is simple, keep it turned off or on vibrate, and leave the room before answering as to not distract anyone around you. She says "Imagine you are in church- sitting beside your mother.... Imagine the FIT she would pitch, if your cell phone rang during church. Now multiply that TIMES TEN and that's what you'll have from me if your phone rings in MY class!" LMBO!!!

I thought those were pretty good.

One highlight of the week was my PC class, called "Basic PC Literacy". I'm not sure what I was expecting except that I knew I'd pass no doubts there. I remember thinking as I looked through the catalog, how I wished there was a class that covered Microsoft programs, especially the Office suite cause I've always wanted to master that. Guess what we're covering in my PC class? You got it! MS Office! That's the ONLY thing we're doing! First Word, then Excel, then Access, then PowerPoint! Woo-Hoo!!! This is gonna be fun :)

I've had this abnormal drive for organization this past week. Should I say, I remember back when I was nesting before I had Jackson (7 years ago), how organized I was. How routine I was. How at peace I was with my surroundings. Slowly but surly, that's all coming back now! It's like second nature for some reason for me to clean the kitchen in the evenings! How weird is that? I mean I have tried to attempt organization for years but always fail, but now it just seems to be effortlessly happening! I'm not gonna argue- just be thankful.

My biggest challenge is the kids. Hannah is at her all time worse. I am trying my best to figure out what in the world has gotten into her. She does not listen to a thing I say!! One minute she can be just as loving as she can be, then you ask her to do something and she just looks at you like you're crazy and she does the opposite. She's doing her best to drive Jackson nuts- which brings open another can of worms, because he doesn't respond in the manner in which he should. You'd think they were about to kill each other or something. They've become stumbling blocks for each other!! Lord please have mercy on me!! I'm hoping once we get more routine, both of them will calm down.

Poor Jackson, he's sick. He has a cold or something. He's been coughing since last Friday, and this morning he got up with a fever of 100.1. So we ended up keeping him out of school. The fever broke about 10:30-11am, so we got ready and went to lunch at Hannah's new favorite place, "Bernie's". Hannah teases Jackson because he never gets to go, because they close at 2pm. Hannah and I eat there for breakfast, or have been since Wednesday ;o) So I figured I would take advantage of the fact I had Jackson at home and we went.

Dad walks up there every morning, eats breakfast, sits and chats with all his buddies who go in to do the same thing, lol. It's just a locally owned little restaurant that's been there for 30 years. (Its .4 mile away from mom and dad’s house.) They've changed ownerships a few times, but all the owners have kept the same name so they're "grandfathered" in with the old laws. So Hannah and I have been going up there and eating breakfast, picking up dad and taking him home, and leaving Hannah with them while I'm at school. (Right now mom and dad are watching Hannah while I'm in school, until her spot comes open in the subsidy program).

After we finished eating, mom and dad walked in, go figure ;o) they weren't supposed to get home that soon! I had called dad before we left and he said they were at the eye doctor, which is 15 miles away from them! I was planning on taking the kids back to their house and baking cupcakes for mom's birthday, which was today :p We did that anyways, and all was well. The cupcakes were good, too. Hannah helped make them, and Jackson (along with Hannah) helped decorate them.

Gracious how do you get these kids to go to bed and stay?! I have fought Hannah for over an HOUR to stay in bed and go to sleep. After 15 minutes or so of silence I go to check to be sure she's out (you know how you just like looking at them asleep? They are so peaceful, like lil angels ... yeh right) and she's laying there wide awake messing with her blanket!! Jackson's fever is coming back :o( (it's 9pm, I've been typing over 30 minutes between getting up and down, etc...) Poor guy. He's going to bed like he's going to school in the morning, little does he know. Uhg. We don't have the money to take him to the dr!! That’s another vent for another day.

I had the weirdest dream the other night. My grandmother passed away 3.5 years ago. We were fiercely close, and I grieved extremely hard for her, worse than any other person in my life that's ever died. The other night, I dreamed the whole family was supposed to get together for a meal. That's ODD in its self because we just don't do that anymore.

But when I arrived, my gma was there ... alive. She looked great, years younger than she was when she died, and before the light dementia had kicked in. I just freaked out. The best I can remember, my response was "why NOW?" like, why come back NOW, after I have grieved for so hard for so long. Why ARE you coming back? What's the purpose of coming back? The thing was, there wasn't a question about 'how' she come back. I remember part of my dream I was talking to my sister in law and saying, "if Jesus brought Lazarus back thousands of years ago, then of course he can bring my grandma back now"-- but in the latter part of my dream, I remember having doubt of WHO brought her back. Whether she returned because the Lord was sending her back to me, or it was Satan and everything was a ruse.

It was a really weird dream. I remember wanting to just fall into her arms and hold her like I did before, but my doubts and anger kept me from doing so.

I had another similar dream about my best friend who died when I was 14, too. That dream come about a number of years after her death. I dreamed then that she come back, but I found that she was never dead to begin with, that her death had been faked. I remember rejecting her in my dream, having the same kind of anger I had in this recent dream with gma.

I wonder what all of this is supposed to represent.

Well, if anything that'll give y'all something to chew on ;o)
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Take Care!!


  1. Hey Wendy. I haven't updated my blogs since mid November, so you're doing better than I am.

    As far as Hannah getting out of bed, I used to babysit a little boy who did the same thing. My rule when babysitting was he could make one trip to the bathroom and get up for one drink of water. If he got up for any other reason (except an emergency), he'd have to put his nose in the corner (I didn't believe in spanking while babysitting). His mom started following the same rule and she didn't have any more problems with him. He just needed that little bit of freedom in order to relax and go to sleep, if that makes any sense.

    Perhaps that will help Hannah. Worth a shot anyway.

    Juli :)

  2. Hi Juli! What a nice suprise to see you here :) We do all the drinks, potty, so forth before they go to bed, so really their getting up is just stalling and excuses. I just pray that the Lord will give me the wisdom to come up with a good solution for both of them.