Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Happy? Birthday ^Baby^

Tuesday, May 8th, 2007, 5:08 pm

I was up until 6am this morning. I was here on the board reading and responding to a thread until 4:30am, when I realized "crap, it's 4:30". So I tried to go to sleep, and was sooooo restless. I took some benedryl, and knocked out. Jay woke me up this morning to communicate his morning plans because he left today to work out of town. In the middle of it all the school called and Hannah was with fever and throwing up. He went and got her. He shared the suprise he found when going to rent a car for his trp, that our car insurance was cancelled. He had to fix that this morning. Bless his heart.

So I wake up as he leaves for his trip, I dunno, 1 or so. I get up and come to the board to finish reading the thread I was reading cause last night I was enjoying it. Two hours ago, my mood started to change. As I started writing out a reply I never thought I would be writing, my neurotic tendancy to look at details, as I mentioned my CL anniversery ... I went to be sure I remembered the exact day. I know it's May, but I have a lot of May events happening and fr anyone who knows me, knows most of the time I remember nothing.

Okay, so my anniversery is the 21st ... I look at the date (cause with my being out of work, the date has to be sought) ... it's the 8th.

If cancer had not taken ^Temone's^ life, he would have turned 13 years old today. and Hannah's home. She's not suposed to be here yet. I'm a wreck. She cannot see me cry, because if she does, she'll want to talk about it. I don't have the energy to talk about it. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest ... again.

Not to mention, we just found out last week that Tiffany, MIL's dog, Temone "wife" if you will (they did have 5 puppies together ;), her cancer has come back. But she has lymphoma, treatable with chemo, so they're starting her treatments again. Since the last bout she goes in every month for a checkup. It still doesn't make things easier.

Humans are so much easier to grieve for :.....o(

So Happy Birthday ^Moni^, and thank God for grandpuppies ... that stay in the family.

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