Where's Wendy?

Hi there! I've missed blogging! Man where has 2010 went? I was thinking that the other day and I started reflecting on where I was a year ago, to where I am now. All I can say is God is good ... ALL the time. If you seek Him, you will find him. If you seek His Will, He will show it to you ... in due time. But you have to wait on Him! I'm so thankful I did.

It's really funny, a year ago I bought my domain, and started working on a new website of my own. God obviously had other plans for me ... because a year later that site is not even closed to being finished, and it's time to renew my domain again! That's okay, I've learned a lot of new things pertaining to web design while doing web work for other people. I believe I'm on the road to mastering that thing called "social media"- well, coming to a greater understanding of it's many uses, that is.

I've learned a lot about politics in the past year. The most important thing I have learned, above all else, is that we ALL should be concerned with what is going on in politics! The days of letting other people do the worrying while we sit at home reading a favorite book, watching our favorite TV shows, baking, cooking, even doing laundry, are over. I so desperately resent all of those years I said "I don't watch the news ... it's too depressing". Know why it was depressing? Because there were a million other people like me out there, not being engaged in their own communities, letting other people take over our own country! For those who have been around this blog a while, you know the 2008 election totally sucked me in. That year was a turning point for me. The day when America voted and John McCain was deemed "the best" conservative choice, I knew there was a problem. You know what the problem was? Not enough people were doing their civic duty and paying attention to what was going on. The penalty for our civic apathy now is we must work double time to restore our country back to something we recognize for our children, and it cannot wait. Conservatives, and in my own opinion- Christians, must be more engaged than ever THIS year, for THIS November. THIS is the year history must be made.

I've learned a lot about "people" in general. That's been an interesting feat. I've always considered myself a "people" person. Being around more of them has given me a great insight into understanding where "people" might be coming from. I've learned ... that we all need to see "people" as if we were looking through God's eyes first ... then understanding comes a lot easier.

I've learned that while the appearance of humanly perfection might be attainable, it's better to acknowledge our own faults, and fight the fights that truly need fighting within us. Even if it's the urge to appear "all together" and be "bright & shiny". Balance, is the key.

So what to look forward to in CalvaryGirl's near future?

You'll see a lot more of me.

I'm going back to the basics of posting regular devotions. Food, food and more food, in all styles, shapes and forms (from the good for you to the bad for you!). Politics ... but it won't be posted with food ;) and reviews. I thoroughly enjoyed reading reviews last year and wanted to get more regular in posting them. I've tried lots of new things this year and have thought "wow, this would be a good review on the blog ..." and that's as far as it's gotten. Who knows, maybe there will be a giveaway in the future? We'll have to wait and see.

All the better? I'm gonna have some new bright & shiny websites for you to visit these topics under. So while we may not agree on politics, we will indeed have the ability to connect and agree on the best low-fat high-taste -crock pot recipe!

So how are you?

No resolutions for ten

I started blogging more regularly about this time last year. Needless to say the past few months I have not been very active but I promise dear readers I plan to change that. Not that blogging more regularly is a New Year's Resolution. That was last year's resolution. I succeeded until about October- with that resolution and a couple other ones. Then I have partially felt awful about not 'completing' the year, and I wonder why I'm allowing myself to feel such guilt. Typically, guilt is associated with conviction for me, but I know the Lord isn't convicting me of not posting more to the blog ... right? Of course not. I believe the guilt is more aligned with the typically "mommy guilt", guilt of not being able to do it all.

So, for 2010, in an effort to banish an attempt for mommy guilt to set in, I refuse to make New Year's Resolutions. Merriam-Webster refers to resolution as the "act of resolving"- or "to reach a firm decision about". Most anything you read on goals says to break your goal up into smaller goals, and work your way up. That is much more attainable, don't you think? Don't be surprised if you see posts from me referring to monthly goals. One thing '09 taught me, is to aim low and if you reach higher, then "yay!". In 2010, I shall have smaller goals each month, and by the end of the year, we'll talk about how they all laid the foundation for the more further out, higher end goal I see in the horizon of my mind.

With that, I realize what a blessed woman I truly am. I have seen numerous references about what a bad year '09 was, and I don't see it for us. 2008? oh yeh, that was bad. Jordan died in April, and I don't think I got out of bed much until July. We made the heart wrenching decision to pull the kids from our beloved private school and put them in a public / charter school (financial reasons only). We went through that heart wrenching transition, but God is good, even when your kids are not in the preferred school. We watched them struggle, but God is good, even when we struggle. He provided a way for us to get them back in private school by the end of the school year. The next month, Jay was demoted and the school funds were blown out. I spent the summer wondering how we were going to pay for school, but right as school was ready to start, Jay was offered a new job with a pay increase that covered the school bill. He took the job, and it has been the challenge of his career, but God is good. He carries us through.

He gives grace, where grace is needed. While I would never recommend public school to anyone if they have an option like ours, the trial we went through with our children was a "necessary trial" that I know God led us to- because we learned so much about our children. We ended school year '09 with a deeper relationship with our kids that we might not otherwise have had, if we had not worked through the trial together as a family.

My migraines have been more intense and frequent this year, but I have not seen that as a major issue necessarily- grace. This Christmas, our kids said it was the "best Christmas ever". Jackson doesn't like singing in children's choir, but his favorite day of the week is Monday night visitation when he goes out with a couple of early 20-something "preacher boys". I could not be more proud in that regard! Not only that, but for some reason he has busted out of his desire to dress casually for church, and is wanting to dress up now. While I realize it is the condition of the inside that is more important when it comes to worship, to see my soon-to-be preteen boy decide on his own now, that he wants to dress nice on Sundays is a HUGE blessing for me. (Now people will see we do buy him nice clothes!) The grief issues Hannah was experiencing regarding Jordan have passed. In '08 she was not able to hear his name much less see a picture of him without crying. In '09, she has worked through that. In '10, I plan to put his pictures on the wall. (That's big for her and me.)

2009 has presented its own challenges, but the blessings have far outweighed them. We've both done our own fair share of soul searching and pondering; there have been circumstances that, while it would not be big to others, was big enough for us- but we have been able to adjust to with the Lord's guidance. I believe 2009 has been a year of trust. For me, I have begun learning that if we trust the Lord first, and move forward second, life's trials are ten times more bearable. In my church-notebook (the diary sized journal I keep in my bible bag to take notes in Sunday School and during services...), last January I made my 2009 "theme verse":

"Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God" -- Psalm 20:7

I don't know what my '10 theme verse will, be, but I do know, if I continue to remember the name of the Lord MY God, 2010 will be just fine.

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope this finds all of you well. I'm recovering from the strep still. That was rough. God is good though and He has brought me through yet another health trial. Praise Him :) We've been busy planning mom and dad's 50th wedding anniversary party this coming Saturday. Their anniversary was last Saturday but we could not get the place we wanted until this weekend, which was fine. We spent last Saturday going through every family photo album we could get out hands on in their house going through pictures for the centerpieces for all the tables, and the powerpoint presentation I'm creating. It's going to be a lot of fun (I hope!). This is the "Golden" anniversary, which works well for a party. They have been season ticket holders for Wake Forest University for 40+ years, so sis and I have done everything in black and gold- Wake Forest colors ;)

Thanksgiving is here again. I love Thanksgiving, so laid back, no one stressing. It's everything Christmas should be, I believe. Not that I don't love Christmas, don't get me wrong. I do! Without Christmas, where would I be? Right? I'm not even 100% sure what is on our menu. Food. Turkey. Hey, as long as we're together it'll work out. Oh, and my mother in law's dressing. That's a holiday must have. I've tried to get my own birthday dinners planned where she makes a batch of it, but I just get eye rolls from Jay. Maybe one day. When we get past Thanksgiving and the party- next weekend is Hannah's surprise birthday party. Sshhh- she, nor her brother, knows about it! The next weekend we have The Nutcracker, which is going to be awesome because Hannah's Christmas outfit is simply stunning this year. Previous years she has not dressed up for our theater date, but last year she noticed all the little girls gussied up and asked if she could this year. She'll be gorgeous. Only thing is we're in the balcony this year, for some reason, in a RECESSION, the Nutcracker tickets doubled! :(

The following weekend is Hannah's "real" birthday weekend. She doesn't know it yet, but that Friday we're going to get her ears pierced. I was going to do it Saturday but the girl at Claire's said it would be better to do it Friday. Then Sunday the 20th is her birthday so we'll so our traditional Sunday lunch at the Mexican restaurant. Maybe I'll get a group together. Then that week is Christmas. We'll have some running to do but not a whole lot I don't think. I'll have a breather until January 2nd which is Jackson's birthday. Somewhere in the middle of all that Ill be planning his birthday ... stuff. We're still not sure what we're going to do with him, lol I just can't believe he'll be 11!

I'll try not to be scarce in the next month, and will come bearing pictures!

Where's Wendy?

Is she ever busy?! I thought moms got to cool things off when the kids went back to school? not this school year it seems! I've been trying to declutter since July when we had the huge yard sale. It was a huge success, but we need to have another one. That's been the plan. So much, we put all the tables together and put a tarp over everything and left it in the yard. That was July 4th weekend. Two times my sister and I have set a date for her to bring her stuff over and we do it together, massive fail. I've decided to take the playpen full of adult women's clothes to the Goodwill, and pack up the rest for a bit. Maybe in October? I have a lot of winter kid's clothes, and more adult clothes that are stashed in the garage.

Because everything is shifted around in the garage due to the yard sale, we haven't been parking in there. Since there's more "leeway", I've been able to get stuff out of the house into the garage, which frees up space in the house to rearrange things. And that's what I have been doing! I was starting with Hannah's room late last week when mom called and said some family from out of state that we have not seen in five years is coming down for a visit. She volunteered for my second cousin and her daughter to stay with us since we're about the same age and her daughter and Hannah are. I'm very excited about our upcoming visit, but wwooooowwww wow wow (as Wubzy would say...)- I still have a LOT of work to do in this house!

Seriously, I would be ashamed if anyone come in here right now. Stuff strewn everywhere. If someone offered to help me, I would not know where to start them. Well, that's a lie. I would tell them to put the bunk bed up in Hannah's room and make the beds. (Kristi?) So my goal today is to find the living room and dining room. But, I also have a bunch of cooking to do, too. I done a big grocery trip yesterday and need to process some things.

OK STOP THE PRESSES.
I'm sitting here typing this on my laptop on my bed. The (master) bathroom door is open, the lights in there are on plus the bedroom light. Out of the corner of my eye I see about SIX INCHES of naked white tail headed towards my jacuzzi bathtub!! As I feel my heart jump in my throat I hear a faint flutter sound and it's gone. The front paneling is off due to a leak a while back, so there's a hole in the floor. THERE WAS AN OPOSSUM IN MY BATHROOM JUST NOW!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Oddly enough, this makes sense. Jay saw one go under the air conditioner unit a few weeks ago but could not tell where it went. Somehow it has gotten under the house and found the hole in the floor that actually leads to underneath the house in the bathroom. Jay just said he didn't realize the hole went all the way through that there was another layer of flooring under the tub. WELL NOW WE KNOW! We just got off the phone, I hope he realizes he is coming home early today! That's one way to get out of work "I got to go home, there's an opossum in my house and my wife is freaking out."

What was I talked about? Food. Yes, food. Whole foods had a great deal on chicken yesterday, $2.99/lb.. so I bought three pounds. I'm going to do Jessica Seinfeld's "Tortilla cigars" and try freezing them for the kid's lunches. It has cream cheese in the recipe, think it will work? I also bought a BIG bag of spinach (3 lbs for $5), and one of cauliflower so cook, puree, and freeze for future Seinfeld recipes. I also have celery and carrots to cut into sticks, and some Amberjack fish to divvy up into individual bags to freeze. That is the only fish Hannah will eat. It's very good if I say so myself. We are LOADED down in tilapia, flounder, and mahi mahi, but she won't touch it. (We were blessed with the contents of a friend's deep freezer when they moved.) It has the texture of a chicken thigh, which I think has a big deal to do with why she likes it. Praise the Lord for Whole Foods and their massive sampling, that's all I'm sayin'! It was on sale for $7.99/lb ($4 off) so I bought four two inch pieces to freeze and use when we have tilapia. (I don't mind fixing a different fish when we're having fish, it's the separate meal all together is what peeves me.)

Right now I'm making yogurt in the crockpot. Yes, it works :) This time I'm going to experiment with adding some vanilla extract to it. I found a recipe for a "clean" (aka healthy) shrimp scampi with orzo and corn, so I'm also going to fix that today and portion it out for Jackson's lunches. That boy LOVES shrimp scampi. So that's the plan. Pray for me today, I'll sure need it!

Family Update- April 24th

It's about time for an update, isn't it?
I'm doing ok. It seems if it's not one thing it's another going on (with me). If I'm not hit with a migraine I'm just overall feeling ... "uhg". I'm sure a lot of it has to do with my weight, so I am going to be focusing a lot of attention on that in coming weeks. I really do need a lot, a LOT of prayer regarding my motivation and will power as it pertains to eating habits and exercise. The problem with exercise is hip pain due to arthritis and now my right knee has been hurting significantly. I know it has much to do with the pressure my weight is putting on it. I'm still working on habits and routines, we're better than we were, but have a long way to go ;o) I did apply to Gymboree, but never heard anything back, so I'm going to assume it was not the Lord's will for us right now. Thing is, I have no peace about anything else, other than keeping children at home during the summer.

Jay's traveling a lot more with his job. We're so thankful we have not been affected job-wise because of the recession. The thing is, with his line of work, they are always hiring (not for what he does, but ...)- but you have to be physically fit to qualify. Oh~ and drug free :p Please do not apply for a job and waste yours and the company's time if there's a remote possibility you're not going to be able to pass a drug test! And do not think companys don't do random drug testing, because people are getting fired there for that, too! (Hence additional openings.) Very shocking news the other day was his boss as fired, which is bad because he really liked him and respected him. If you think about it please keep that situation in prayer- that his replacement won't be a royal jerk (it's true, right?) and that his new boss won't have a problem moving on to bigger and better things.
We got to take a mini vacation over Spring break in Virginia Beach and .... another town (lol) where a friend of Jay's lives. It was very nice. More pics to come, but you can see quite a few here.

We're looking forward to getting a garden planned soon (we're late!) and having a HUGE yard sale. We have SO much stuff we can get rid of, we're going to have to have a few yard sales just to get rid of it all. There's just too much to be able to get everything out at one time.

The kids are both playing soccer, and enjoying it a lot. Last week was their first game, they've been practicing about a month now. There are only three teams in Jackson's age group, so every other week he will be playing two games back to back. He has been deemed the primary goalie for the team though he's going to have opportunities to play in every position throughout the season. As active as he is I find it funny he'd choose goalie as a preferred position ;o) Hannah's just excited to be there, which makes me glad.

Some may have been wondering the stories behind my Wordless Wednesday post this week, I'm gonna share that separately. One hint- nothing to do with soccer ;o)
Hannah is still dealing with some degree of bullying (previous post), but what's being reported now is more regular mean-self-centered kid-type bullying. Jackson is determined he is going to make straight A's this quarter, after bringing home his best grades this year for 3rd quarter- two As and 3 Cs. That sounds good but for a child that has made all As his whole life ... not very hot- and he knows it.

I've always said that I would never pay or reward my kids for their grades, because they should get good grades anyway. Considering how rough this year has been, knowing he needs more motivation than fear of failing 4th grade (no danger at all, but apparently his teacher has brought it up enough generally speaking to the class it's been a fear of his...). We've told him he would get $20 for every A he makes for 4th quarter. He wants a new, "good" skateboard so he has a goal in sight. So we'll see how that goes. I know it's excessive, but I wanted to do something that would not only "get" his attention, but KEEP it for ten weeks. Please continue to pray about them getting back in their old school for next school year, that the Lord will give Jay wisdom to make the right decisions for our family concerning the many factors that plays into their return. We'd greatly appreciate it!

Jackson and I went to the local TEA party on tax day 4-15. We had a good time and enjoyed the experience. I was so proud to be an American that day. I had never attended a protest before, but it was so peaceful, and respectful. For us to be a group of extremists, we sure were nice! I thought it was hilarious when I saw on TV the next day some guy from Vanity Fair was saying "oh they weren't mad at all, they just seemed a little miffed more than anything" (paraphrase). Apparently, the liberal left thinks that you have to scream, holler, vandalize, interrupt speeches, and otherwise act like 5 year olds having a hissy fit for it to be a "real" valid protest. Apparently peaceful protesters just don't know what they're doing. Hmmm ... I'd be willing to disagree and call them to the floor on that!


Our local reps are planning more TEA parties in the future, and definitely one on Independence Day. It meant a lot for me as a parent to take part in it, and include Jackson in it. A long time ago our old Pastor said (paraphrase) "...one day when this country has went completely downhill, my grandkids are going to ask me what I done to stop it- and I want to be able to tell them I done everything I could...". I'll never forget that, and hold the same opinion. When Jackson is an adult, after conservatism reclaims this country through conservatives getting involved and finding their voices, and using them- he will be able to say "My mom and I were there when it all started ...". Some people think it's a moot point to talk politics with their children, but for me, that's HISTORY. I know nothing of the Regan years from first hand experience, and I was the same age then Jackson is now. Hannah is too young to appreciate what's going on, but Jackson is genuinely interested. Saturday we're going to the first meeting of our local 912 project. It's more of a meet and greet than anything I believe, but it's going to be fun. We're meeting at a local park and having potluck, etc ...

Hannah had her first field trip for the year. I know! They had one planned earlier in the year but it was cancelled. It was to this Health Center that was SO neat! I wish I could testify to how informational it was, but the models of internal organs freaked Hannah's little friend out, and we had to stay in the break room the WHOLE time we were there (2 1/2 hrs!). We had a nice time together though, it wasn't boring or anything. Time went by fast. Since her friend got NOTHING out of the field trip its self, I took the girls by the Krispy Kreme we passed on the way in (we were out of town). We had two of her buddies riding with us, and one her never been there before, so that was really exciting, especially since they were making the doughnuts when we got there!



Church is going great as always. I've been going out on Monday night visitation for a few weeks now, and it has been a great blessing. I've been wanting to start going for a good while now. I hope our family routine allows me to continue to do that :o) Jackson went out with some guys this week and he really enjoyed that. I learned Hannah has the option of staying at the church while I go out if needed, so that was a relief. Some weeks she's ok, others she's fickle about it. So we'll see.

Hope you all are doing well, and please link me to your own family updates by commenting! Don't forget about the giveaway!

How are YOU doing?

I have quite a day ahead of me! Lots to do, too little time. If politics and activism interest you, I've been blogging a bit about current events and such on my political themed blog. Hop on over and feel free to comment if you'd like.

We're doing well. I got a new dishwasher last night- for free! I'm very excited. I'm on a mission to get routines back in every aspect of our lives. I believe it would greatly help with the stress levels in our home. The kids are doing soccer now, tonight is our second practice. They're both very excited about it. I'm Twittering now, if you can't tell ;o) So follow me!

I'm going to be doing a giveaway soon here on the blog. Maybe next week- we'll see! I'll have to think more about it. It will be my first giveaway so I'm hoping it will go over well.

How is your bible reading going? How about my Bible in a Year pals? Amy? (looking around) are you out there? I'm keeping up. I have some "back reading" but it's not too bad. The routine thing will help a lot in that area.

Something to pray about:
We're desperately wanting to get the kids back in private Christian school next school year. Please pray that we will see any open doors the Lord has for us, and that His will be done. I truly believe it's His will for them to be back there next school year. Jackson needs it, badly. Also pray for Jackson. The Lord knows his needs.

Link me to your updates if you've already posted a personal update on your own blogs I have not commented to! (((group hugs))))

What a week!

This is going to be a busy week for us. Our Spring revival started last night (Sunday) and it lasts through Wednesday night. Thursday morning I leave for Virginia for the Ladies Prayer Advance, and I'll be gone through Saturday afternoon. Then mom reminded me today that this Saturday night is the night I had planned to go to the Steven's Center with them cause they had extra tickets, lol I'm going to be SO tired!!

I'm excited about the prayer advance though. I have fond memories of past ones I've been to. The first one, I had no idea what it even was. We had not been back in church for very long, and my mentor at the time just said "there's a paid slot, and I'd love you to go with me", and my thoughts was "hey, three day trip with the ladies from church, no money required, I'm in!". Little did I know. I can just say that most people only think they have experienced revival, until they've attended one of these events. I went to the one in '01, then another one in '03.

Basically it's breakfast- morning session (preaching & worship, lasts 1 1/2-2 hours each session) - lunch - rest an hour - afternoon session - workshop (optional) - dinner - evening session. Basically, up to six hours a day on Thursday and Friday of worship and preaching, you leave Saturday after the early-afternoon session. No cell phones, no TVs, no computers, no land lines (except for the main building). You are completely separated from the "outside world" for that time period.

I know six hours of "church" can make someone wonder how that can be exciting, but when you go expecting to meet the Lord there, expecting that "something", be assured- He is going to meet you! Like Jacob wrestling all night with the angel of the Lord, he held on TIGHT to that angel, fighting, until he got his blessing.

I have no idea what will come about this weekend, but I do know that eight years ago I went, and I come back a completely changed person. That weekend saved my marriage- literally. The Lord dealt with me and changed me in ways that weekend that can be attributed to nothing short of a miracle from God. Jay's still amazed to this day I think- cause that is one thing he does not hesitate to encourage me in, lol I think if he had to drive me up there and drop me off at the front door he would! LOL The Lord dealt with me on my pride problem, and showed me how pride can ruin everything in your life- every relationship you have. and He dealt with that seriously in depth! My blessing? a saved marriage and Hannah was conceived two weeks later ;o) I say she's my prayer advance baby :p

This year is going to be extra special for one, because revival is this week. My heart is going to be right from session one! ;o) Also, my retired Pastor is the preacher for this year's advance! He retired last March and our current Pastor "took the reigns". He had been on staff working as Associate Pastor three years prior, so it was an extremely smooth, precious transition and time for the whole church. But it's been a year since I've heard him preach ;) we're talking about the man who led Jay and I to the Lord, it was his ministry and preaching that brought us to salvation, and his ministry that led my kids to salvation. He's a very special person to us. So I'm excited.

The fellowship, the preaching, the time away to just focus on God, man, what a great weekend it will be! Please pray for us all, and for my family. I really hope revival will be special for Jackson. He's struggling so right now. Thank you!

Family Update- (long and possibly upsetting)

I thought it might be time for another family update and let y'all know what's new with us :) You might have read last week that Jay was able to get a new truck. This has been a tremendous blessing and burden off of him. For him to be able to leave out for work in the mornings and not have to worry about whether something pops up like a kid getting sick at school, if something comes up at work and he is not able to get home in time to pick up the kids (thus having to depend on my parents to jump in in an hour's notice some days ..). With having his own vehicle, he is able to do his job better, and that actually, for us, brings in more income for us- which is a HUGE bonus!

Speaking of income, I am currently pondering my resume and plan on applying to Gymboree for a part time job while the kids are still in school. I'd appreciate prayers concerning that, if you think about it. That is where I love getting Hannah's clothes and the emplyees always pick around when I'm in there cause I squeeze our dollars so tight and get such good deals there, lol If employed, I'll be able to get a 40% discount off regular price, which is awesome considering there have been a number of outfits I've really liked, but missed getting because they sold out before the discount was good enough for me. I really believe this will be something I will enjoy doing a lot. I already have dealt with the staff quite a bit and they are all really friendly, especially the asst manager. The store manager assured me she was able to work with my availability, and no weekends if I was not available- which is huge for me.

My mistake the last time I "went back to work"- it was a good opportunity, a wonderful job, but more than our family really needed to take on. I wanted part time and they were only willing to offer full time. The pay was higher (by dollars) than what I would be making with Gymboree I'm sure, but I believe when you're honoring God with your money, He will honor you, too.

Our goal with the extra money is going to be getting the kids back into private Christian school. Until this school year, they had only been there, then this school year the Lord led us to take a break to regroup not only our finances but our family. It has been an interesting school year, and I have no doubt we're in the Lord's will right now with the kids in the charter school, but it's one of those situations you think sometimes "why me? why do I have to do this?", but there have been many things revealed, many blessings, and our family has come much closer as a result of this change.

The change has not been without challenges. The main one, is Jackson. He is struggling with school in a big way. Now that we're in third quarter, the pressure is really on him, and he is showing it. It's become apparent he has lost a lot of respect for his teacher, and it hurts to see. He's not a disrespectful child, there are reasons behind his thoughts, that I do not doubt. From some things he has said, I can see it through his perspective. My conclusion is the school''s educational philosophy is not conducive for him.

You cannot take a child that has made straight A's the first four years of his life, effortlessly; going into the 4th grade with a 7th grade reading level; having attended a school whose test scores were GRADE LEVELS above the national average (his class was two grades above); and watch his grades plummet into Bs, Cs and Ds, and say it is the child. You cannot just claim "irresponsbility" against the child, when there's TOO MUCH for said child to have to keep up with! I agree a child needs to learn to be responsible, but there is such a thing as "too much". WE have a hard time keeping up with his work and what hes expected to do! Why is there just as much emphasis put on whether worksheets are turned in, as there is tests? Don't the tests prove whether the child is learning?

I just disagree with the way things are done. He used to enjoy school, and enjoy learning. That has been completely sucked out of him. So, I'm trying to encourage him to do his best. I am not going to tell him they are going back to their old school because right now, I still do not know 100%. I just know, that is what we want, and are praying for.

Speaking of praying, this has been such a big a hit to him- the other day I said something about praying for something to happen and his response was "what good does it do to pray? nothing ever happens!". Oh that broke my heart. But that showed me he's at a point in his life where his relationship with the Lord is his own, and he's going to have to work that out hisself. I do know, that if he does get back to the old school for next school year- he's going to be a completely different child. That I have no doubt. He will never forget this experience. His burden for the lost is much stronger, but his personal relationship is weaker, if that even makes sense. I found a kid devotional website yesterday, and plan on implementing that in our days. We talk about spiritual things and the bible every day, but I'm thinking this might put more of a narrow focus for them.

Hannah is facing her own challenges now, and I'm watching her carefully. About two-three weeks ago, she spoke up and said the kids were mean on the playground. Now, anyone that knows my Hannah, knows that she is a heart a thousand miles wide, and will give anyone the shirt off her back if she saw they needed it. She shares everything. She is friends with everyone. She meets NO strangers. She was recognized at the end of second quarter she was recognized for forgiveness! So to hear people were mean to her? That grabbed my attention.

I asked her how people were mean to her, what happens, etc ... She said "The African American kids tell me every day they don't want me on their team because I'm white." :-O I asked if the teacher was watching the teams getting picked and she informed me it was free play type of teams. So you have these first graders (!!!) on the playground, deciding to play a game, dividing into teams- all healthy, normal as far as social development ... and yet, somehow, racial bias has already been taught either by word or action in the lives of these children. and it's not the white kids!

So Hannah is coming home each day for Lord only knows how many weeks this had been going on before she decided to tell me (she just says they "always" do it, no telling with a first grader, kwim?) wondering why kids don't want to play with her because she is white. It just bewilders me, how parents can ... NOT know, their kids say these types of things. Then I think about the comment our new Attorney General said last week about us essentially being a "nation of cowards" when it comes to race.

"Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot,
in things racial we have always been and I believe continue to be, in too many
ways, essentially a nation of cowards," Holder said.
Race issues continue to be a topic of political discussion, but "we, as
average Americans, simply do not talk enough with each other about
race."

Well I have the answer to ALL of the hoopla- if you teach your children that God created us ALL to live up to our God given potential in life, that he died for the WORLD, that God sees NO COLOR~ then we won't really have racial issues in this country now will we!!?? When are people going to GET OVER THIERSELVES!!?? Seriously! I think we talk TOOOOO much about race!

My kids don't care what color the skin is of another child, they look at the content of the heart. and even then- they forgive! Case in point, the racial comments come home over a week ago. Day before yesterday, we're sititng at the table eating and she said "B got on RED today.". Red is the worse offense you can get, it calls for a trip to the principal's office, and a call to the parents. Usually, "M" is the one that gets in that much trouble, and Hannah has been praying for M quite often this school year. But this boy, I don't really recall hearing much of.

I do know, that there's only one white boy in her class and his name is A. As she's sitting there eating her mashed potatoes I ask why B got put on red ... "He hit me on the playground." :::deep breath::: I ask her to share what happened. "We were on the playground and I told him the chicken joke. He said he didn't like it and he punched me in my head and ran off. It hurt, too." Her teacher promptly handled it and done exactly what I would expect a teacher to do, except B refuses to apologize to Hannah (but I don't believe in forced apologies either), and I was informed by Hannah, and not a note from school. I know it's elementary school, but I still believe it would be appropriate for teachers to have that kind of communication with parents. I realize she did not have a black eye, or a bruise, or a bloody lip, but, she was still hurt.

So she's told by the black kids at school that they don't want to play with her because she's white. She used to be buddies with one of the black girls, but they're not close any more because her friend is playing with the other black girls. Hannah was, at the beginning of the year, one of two white girls in the class, since the beginning there's been another white girl put in that class. She's being isolated because of her color, and now, a black BOY hits her. There's another GIRL, the same one, that is apparently telling Hannah she has fat legs (she doesn't, she's not a string bean, but shes not heavy by a mile!)
This is after a number of days of her coming home "tired" and ready to go to bed early most nights. and she's "tired" when she wakes up. I mean she plays at home, but overall, she's complaining quite a bit about being tired. She sleeps ten hours a night, too.

Is Hannah becoming depressed? Fatigue is a symptom of depression, and frankly, racial tension for a first grader is a bit too much. I'm not sure when it's time to speak up and say something. I know kids will be kids, but if the situation were opposite, I can't help but to wonder if something would have been done by now :o(

So. That's what's going on with us. pray as you see fit!

Update on us

It's been a bit crazy here since Christmas, really. You might remember my waking the day after with a sore throat resulting in a doctor's visit that Saturday for them to say, strep throat. That took its toll. I thought I was doing better for the pain to come back horribly the next weekend, along with a migraine.
The next week Hannah started getting sick, but we thought she'd be ok. Days after, she started a cough, and I started feeling bad again. We went to the Dr later that week, for her to have an upper respiratory infection, and me to have both ears "this close" to being infected, and a sinus infection.
A couple days later, Jay started feeling bad, resulting in a very sore throat and fever. That was last week- Jackson started feeling crummy Saturday, running a low grade fever Sunday, and 102o fever Monday (yesterday). Hannah was home today with a belly ache and chesty coughing.

We've been a little busy ;o)

As a result, my blogging has suffered. For that, I apologize. This week I hope to do better. Not only my blogging, but I have been unable to spend time on the forum I host, Frugal Kitchen. If this is a topic that interests you, please come by and chat a little with us. It's been somewhat quiet lately! You'll need to register with iVillage, but it's free and they don't bite *g*
Not only has my online stuff lagged, but the house looks horrible (again!) Just as I was getting things straightened again, I'm in bed for a weekend and it looks like a tornado ran through it. Does this happen to anyone else? Or is it the fact the house isn't organized enough as it is that it only takes the slightest negelect for all the blocks to come falling down?

Jay's busy as ever working up a storm. He was home for two days last week (or was it three with the holiday?) so he's been playing catchup there. It can take a lot out of him too bless his heart. I can only imagine coming back to my inbox to find 400 emails, and know I couldn't go through and delete half of them right off the bat! :-O We've been discussing health insurance and I did not realize just how cheap his company is, but they really are!
We cannot afford to be insured through their carrier, so I'm going to have to look for a private family policy that is within our price range- that would actually cover maternity as well. We could probably afford private insurance without maternity, but who really wants to get into that kind of bind knowing your births cost $30k+? Then again, what are we doing now?

Jackson is doing better ... sort of. His perspective is getting better. He's had a lot of trouble adjusting to their new school. (They started a charter school after attending a private Christian school every year beforehand.) His grades have went from straight A's to Bs and Cs on average :( It's not the material, it's obvious he knows it because he aces all of his tests. His "NWEA" testing is high as well.
{NWEA's is the tests his school has to give students at the beginning of the year to measure where the student are academically, then they test mid year and end of year to prove they're actually teaching the students and accomplishing academic goals. If they cannot prove this, they lose funding and the school is closed, basically.}

It seems like he has a large workload, at home. So our challenge has been trying to find out the balance, and keeping him motivated to do his work at home. His health is showing his stress over this, in that his attendance has suffered due to him getting sick more often than usual. We've had some problems with him having hours worth of work at home, and he's been spent on the topic of homework. I've been spent at the idea of him being at school all day and coming home to have to work for two hours on homework! But after watching him more closely, he's not using his time wisely at home so that's our focus right now- keeping him focused.

I've counseled with a wise sister in Christ about this problem and she suggested incentives last week. I've never been one big on incentives with school work because my view generally is, they should do well in school because that's their job. Daddy goes to work every day for a paycheck, that's his job. Kids go to school each day, to get an education, so one day they'll be able to get a job and make money. BUT~ at this point, I'm open. So tonight, I told him if he got his homework done in an hour or less, we'd give him $3 a day. (I realize that might be excessive, but I figure after the good habit is formed, we'll work extra duties into the $3 total.) Whaddya know- he done it tonight. Score! Praise the Lord. He didn't have time to really complain, either ;)

He's made me proud, though.
He has really held up his standards at the new school and refuses to lower them. SO much, he's friends with everyone, but close with none of them. There's one girl in his class that went to the old school that was in his k4 class, and he talks to her, but since he's resolved not to really have girl-friends (as buddies), they only talk so much. He's talked to all of the boys enough to conclude NONE of them are saved, so while he talks a lot with one boy, his discernment tells him a close friendship is not possible because they don't share the same values.
This is all him- all I've done is listen to him. I give God the glory for this! Of course this is not to say when he gets older he might become close with a child that is not saved and following Christ (and be able to handle it), but his convictions right now are different.

Another area of growth I've seen in him is music.
He's gotten an interest in skateboarding, and is an avid youtube fan. Looking up youtube videos related to skateboarding, apparently some are clips put together to music. We were watching some the other night and he was looking at the titles and said "This is good but let me turn the volume down because I don't like the music" ... when the opening credits come up, the music was "TnT" by AC/DC. He was right, the video was really neat, even without the music. Same with his video games. He got a new skateboarding game, and looked up in the owners manual how to turn off the music and the talking. The speech wasn't profane, but had "filler" phrases he knows are unsuitable and he knew so.

My heart has been so blessed to see him make these decisions and guard his heart in this way. He is however ready to go back to private Christian school and has said so many, many times. The main thing he says he misses is Bible class each day (and chapel). I told him we could do something similar at home and he assures me it's not the same ;o) I pray the Lord will give us discernment and open some doors so at least he can get back there for next year- even if I have to drive to two schools each day!

Hannah auditioned last week for the school talent show. She sang the"Cuppycake song". She got a callback for a second audition. However- the note said the chosen song must be 2-3 minutes long. Cuppycake isn't! Oh no! We're trying to find a song she has sang in the past she can sing for the second audition. The only one we can think of is the song from the '06 CCS Heritage Program theme song "America, turn back to God"- but she's forgotten the words right offhand and we'd need to get the music somehow- by next Tuesday! Any Calvary friends reading this- any ideas?
Other than that, she's doing GREAT. She made all "4"s on her report card, and it comes so naturally for her. She really loves her teachers, and the assistant has said she really shines, and is an excellent example to her friends.
I was playing in Photoshop with a picture I took of her right after Christmas and it turned out really good, don't you think? I'm using that graphic as my signature on Frugal Kitchen :o)

She made me proud this weekend. She spent the weekend with my mom and dad, and they went shopping. Mom told her to pick out a Barbie video she wanted so she was choosing very carefully, looking at every one, mom said. She does this, too- she's not a child who when let loose in a toy store picks the first flashy thing that catches her eye! Mom pointed out a newer one, 'Barbie Diaries', and mom said she looked it over, and was looking at the back of the cover when she said "Maw maw, I don't want to get this one. It says it has rock music in it and I don't listen to rock music" and she handed it back! My parents had no idea of the kind of music the kids preferred, and seeing I used to constantly listen to rock - mom apparently assumed we still did. It floored her but she didn't push. (Just like when they went clothes shopping, my parents have learned- Hannah will NOT wear pants! ;)

So the Lord's showing me, that if we just pay attention, we'll know how our kids are really doing just through the little things. Praise Him!!

I must go, Jay just brought food in. Hope everyone is well!!

Come down with Strep again

The strep throat from the day after Christmas come back Thursday night / Friday morning. For the first time in my life, I had not taken ALL of the antibiotics. I'm always fussing when I get sick cause family members will ask "Do you have any antibiotics left?" to which my answer would be "Well no! That's why I haven't been sick in (X amount) of time!". Then I end up using their "leftovers" to avoid going to the Dr (we don't have insurance). I've learned my lesson.

Then on top of the strep I was having 'hormone shifts' ... uh hum .... on Friday which resulted in a migraine all day yesterday, last night. and I'm not sure if it's still here right now or not cause I just woke up and thought to post something. I know I'm making a bunch of typos and my head is whoozy. But I just wanted to let everyone know where I had went, and where I'll be until this all goes away. If you think about it please pray for me!

Home today, Hannah's sick

Wednesday, March 21st, 2007, 8:35 am

Hannah woke up between 3 and 3:30 this morning ... well, she started coughing rough, I should say. I woke her up to check on her and she was burning up- 102.3. and she was nauseous. So I kept her home today and called into work. I'm so thankful to have a family friendly work environment. They're very sympathetic about the not sending your kid to school sick thing ;o) Maybe I'll get some things done today? Ahhh, how about I go back to bed for a little bit. Yeh, that sounds good ;o) and I'll take Temone with me so we can cuddle...

I should be getting ready .. (updates)

Friday, March 9th, 2007, 6:45 am

This is going to be as quick as I can write ....

Insurance:

The admin asst already sent out my paperwork for the insurance, so I am filling out addt'l paperwork with the correct info (just for me, not for family), and they're going to fax that in. I went online and got a quote for private insurance for Jay and the Kids and found a reasonable one for $302 a month! That's a far cry from $700.

Hannah:

She is feeling better now. Two other kids in her class has had that bug this week, it's going around the school. I'll believe it, my stomach isn't quite right this morning.

Jackson:

I just went to wake him up (again) and found what works ... "Do you want to go sit in the LR in with the fireplace on for a few minutes?" BOING!! There he lies, right in front of it, LOL!!

Jay is due home tonight so I'm not sure if I'll be on or not.

Have a great day!!

Our weekend (3/3-4/07)

Sunday, March 4th, 2007, 9:41 pm


Saturday:

Jackson had his last basketball game for the season. He plays for Upward. This was THE best game they've played the whole season! We won 26-22, with Jackson scoring 12 of those 26 points! He also assisted twice. This was a GREAT game for him. It makes me excited to see what he will do next year, he has been working very hard this go round. I took pictures and I want to scrap them to frame it for him.

After his game we went to see Abby (my best friend's youngest dd) play her game. She plays for Upward too but in an older group set, at a different church. Jay was off and was with us. Maddie (her middle dd) had the flu and was wanting mashed potatoes, so afterwards we decided to go to K&W to eat. Jay and the kids weren't hungry so I went with Kristi and they went home. After we ate we went to a shoe store then to Sams Club for a little bit. Got home, took a nap, and when I got up Jay expressed interest in going out (wow!). So I called my sister to see if she'd come sit with the kids, and she said yes.

We went to Applebees for dinner then to see The Ghost Rider. Let me tell you, I am not impressed. Nicholas Cage is SO much better than that movie!

Sunday:

Jay had to work so the kids and I got up and went to church. Gracious, the kiddos in my class were WILD today!! They never act like this! I had three different people remind me it was a full moon. Guess there just may be something to that. What was funny is the one that would most likely get in trouble, was GOOD- LOL!! After church we went by KFC, picked up a lunch meal, and drove to my cousin's house. She was having "Sunday lunch" at her house this week. So we got to visit with that side of the family today, it was very nice. She ha stwin dd's, and Hannah calls them her "little sisters", lol They had a ball today, all the kids. There was my nephew (10 yo), Jackson (8), Hannah (5), another boy cousin (4), and the girls (2.5).

The kids and I got home around 7:30, and pretty much vegged out the rest of the evening. It's been a busy weekend- again. Still looking for that routine. Sis asked on her blog what everyone's Saturday rituals were. Perhaps I need to start thinking more about the way we spend our Saturdays, kwim?

Update on me

Lets see .... we'll start with Mother's Day:
my Mother's Day Blessing:

Ponderings from a mom to a "non-picky"
Reading the chef thread made me think again how blessed I am with Jackson. We went to a chinese buffet on sunday and we realized we'd never taken the kids to one- well, a good one. That day my son ate cold-peel-it-yourself shrimp, hot of the same, two oysters in shell, two frog legs, sushi with tuna, salmon, and a california roll (3 pieces all together), fish eggs (is that caviar? duh I dunno), garlic green beans, among other 'regular' things. He had nothing fried. How about that for a 7 yo? even Hannah liked the fish eggs, that was her 'new' thing :)


I started my summer semester today. In the next 8-10 weeks, I will be taking 16 week's worth of:

Introduction to Computers
Introduction to Business
Introduction to Sociology
Expository Writing

I didn't fail my last computer class, but it was not transfer. It's a carbon copy of this one, except this one has one additional project per chapter. The professor told me to save all my work on my pin drive and turn it in when it was due, I say kewl

I had Expository writing today. We are working towards writing out the research sources and thesis for a research paper, but not writing the actual paper. Okkaaayyy, I can handle that. But what do I want to research?

The other thing we will be graded on is, one more topic. We pick our topic- write a rough draft. Turn it in for grade, receive tips. Implement tips, turn in for next grade. Then receve more tips, and turn it in for final grade on paper. What's cool is, I already have a paper ready for this!! When I went to get my GED the one who implemented my practice test said that she'd never had a perfectly written paper before- mine! That she' seen college graduates' papers that were not as good as that one. So I asked that she xerox me a copy. Yep, it's sitting right over there ----------> Woo-Hooo!!!

Last but not least- I got my report card this week- I have a 4.0 average!

How behind am I?

Pretty behind!! Actually, a post from last week's "I wonder..." post on the 18th from CFL may update better than I can right now:

Wendy made an A on her Dramatic reading presentation for Public Speaking today!! I done the first chapter of "Dinosaurs Before Dark", the first book in the Magic Treehouse series (5th grade'ish level, lol) I ended the chapter and everyone was like "maaannnn! Were there really books? ... (etc..)". She's sort of nervous with her assignment for Friday- a two minete Eulogy- she's wondering if the Lord done this on purpose with her friend dieing last week?

Wendy forgot to turn in both of her Psychology projects before spring break- 20 points of her overall grade. Her professor said she could still turn them in with a 5 pt penalty- so she'll finish the semester with a 95 ;o)

Wendy's ready for a week off between semesters- 13 more days left of school!! Woo-Hoo! She has four classes for summer, two of them are online. (She plans on boosting her MK business in a big way starting in May.) As for work, the other hostess is still not speaking to her unless completely neccessary. It's tense but she's learning to deal with it.

Does her blog take long to load on dialup? Did you know when you join her group you get an email with every blog post (so you don't have to go TO the blog unless you want to comment!) :p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I done a powerpoint presentation on the World's Finest Chocolate sale for Jackson's school this past fall, today. I believe I done good but I forgot to put transitions in the PP so I know points got taken off for that. We had special occassion speeches this week. We drew from a "hat" what we were doing, and I picked eulogy. Which was bad enough, but one of my friends died on Good Friday, and her memorial service was on Easter night!! I done a eulogy for her, and got an A. I hope it made her smile, it was hard. I could have cried when I sat down. She found out she had cancer and died about 1.5 weeks later. The last time I saw her, she was asking how I was doing with school, was I feeling better, etc ... she knew then she had cancer but was too concerned about me. I can only hope to leave behind the legacy and witness she has!!

Update from here

I just realized this morning that it had been a few days since I blogged. The past few days have flown by with my working. I waited tables Tuesday and Thursday, and Friday and Saturday I hosted. Thursday R, the one who was quitting, showed me some main points that really helped out Friday, like, the credit card machine- running tips, how the register worked (extremely basic, but it has ten deparatment codes shown, we only use one dept code, but unless someone told ya, how would ya know?).

The thing is, R was different. She was from Bulagria, and had a heavy accent. Lets throw in, she was beautiful, too. Something a staff full of women typically hold against another woman. It reminds me of Tea Leanoi's character on "Spanglish" when meeting her to-be housekeeper for the first time and she said "Your GORGEOUS", and her mother says "it's more of an accusation than a compliment". There was a lot of that going on.

From what I have observed, with R's thick accent, people did not want to take the time to truly ccommunicate with her, therefore, they basically treated her like an idiot. This woman is NOT an idiot, this was just a part time thing for her while she was between jobs, and she's moving to NJ for a job in marketing. But I caught a load of crap and flack Friday when the other hostess found out R had showed me some things beforehand. Her words were "Just forget everything she showed you". When she didn't show me anything incorrect, but instead of showing me things beforehand, the other hostess showed me as we encountered things. Not very efficient IMO

She also made a couple of comments in front of customers I thought was rude and uncalled for, basically insinuating I had no idea what I was doing because R trained me. This woman is in her 60s with the maturity of a teen. Not to mention, I have heard her cast judgement on B a few times- which, whew! Makes me even more thankful that I have the wisdom to know, she needs my Savior, NOT my standards. There's only one Christian on staff at this place- my work is my mission field.

So that's what brought me to blogging during Sunday School this morning- Teacher S said we deal with two basic groups of people in our life- the saved and the lost. and it's more likely easier to deal with the lost, because we do not hold the lost to the same standards we hold the saved too. Makes PERFECT sense. Made me think about work. However, common decency and respect for others is not a "saved" thing I don't believe! Now, my bussing the servers tables as I have a moment, and getting drinks for their newly seated, can be attributed to my being saved- cause everyone I've worked with has talked about how wonderful it is to work with me, because I lend a hand when they're out of hands. I just remind them of the Golden Rule :o)

Before I was walking with the Lord, being in the workplace brought on real emotional problems for me. I now know why- it was because I did not have the encouragement of the holy spirit, and the wisdom and understanding I have now. PTL for being a SAHM for 7 years! What growth has occured since then!

As far as school- it's going on. I'm facing a BLOCK with my expository speech, I REALLY need prayer for that. Other than that, things are going well!

We're going to the Zoo at the end of the month with Jackson's school. It's a trip he 'won' for seling over $200 in candy bars ... I laugh, we sold $2450 :p

Lets go get ready for church. We are celebrating our Pastor's 30th anniversery today. This morning they presented him with a 2006 Crysler 300 at the end of service- I would have loved to have seen hat but I was in the nursery. After church tonight we're having a fellowship with a "movie" of Pastor and his wife's past 30 years. It's gonna be so sweet. I might as well not do my makeup cause I'll be crryyyiinngg!

You know, I had a pretty good day today

We were out of school today for a technological conference the staff had to attend. Jay let me sleep while he got Jackson ready for school, then brought me McDs coffee back around 8am. I got up around 8:30 after visiting with him for a few minutes (we hadn't really talked in two days with schedule conflicts...). I got a LOT of laundry accomplished (a bit was already washed / dried, just not out up..), cleaned the kitchen, straightened the livingroom, played with Hannah ... then I had work this evening. The Lord even stepped up and took care of a babysitting conflict, too! PTL!! Gotta love best friends ;o) I've been "ill" a lot lately at home, but it was really nice to just hang out here for a day!!

A couple of highlights that's going on:
My BIL was admitted to the hospital again yesterday. He has severe sores on his legs. This is the one who is morbidly obese who lost about 250 lbs down to 400lbs last year. He's back up around 500 again. One of these days he is going to get the help he needs, and understand the premiseof healthier eating!! My sis is just as guilty though.

My "aunt Bonnie" (the one who suprised us and gave us the money to put down on our car, the one I had been tutoring on the computer there fr a while ...); well, Bonnie has not been doing well. A couple of months ago she had an upper GI test done, and since then she's been having sporatic panic attacks. She has never been quite "all there", I just knocked it off as her taking too many pain killers being a real hypochondriac IMO

Increasingly over the past 5 weeks, Bonnie has been exhibiting more and more symptoms, IMO of paranoia schizophrenia but noone listens to me. She had an episode earlier this week, and her SIL come in to visit yesterday. She found her yesterday evening disoriented, lethargic, so she took her to the hospital. They admitted her (again), and as they were doing tests to rule out any physical causes, they found that she has been trying to cut her self on her left arm. None of us have ever seen it cause she *always* wears long sleeve shirts, even in summer. That was a shocker for us.

So the big thing is trying to figure out what to do. She has a grown autistic son that lives in a group home (has his own personal aide that does a LOT with him). If she goes home with her SIL, that's in FL. Mom and my other aunt would still be responsible for caring for the house and visiting with her ds- but then her ds is going to want to know where mom is :( So it's a big mess. I'm so sad for her, but glad they're FINALLY seeing that she REALLY needs help. I've told mom for months something was not quite right- she had 25 medications in her possession that she took for varying things when she went to the hospital last week with a panic attack. Uhg is the word. She needs salvation, too. Her and my BIL.

Brandy is doing ok. She's getting overwhelmed with work and has taken an extra day off each week, NOW that I am officially hired ;o) That's ok though. She done the 24 hour bucket test for pre ecclampsia, and they done bloodwork, I'm guessing since I've heard nothing more about it, that it come back ok. Something that is bugging me is, her dr's are already planning on inducing if she does not go by her due date. My thought is, why even speculate this early on stufflike that? I mean come on!! She's otherwise having a perfectly healthy pregnancy, why mess it up talk about induction!!?? OK mama bear is done ;o)

I'm so tired, I'm gonna go to bed now! :)

Oy am I a bad blogger!! (update)

How quick does a week pass by when you have other things demanding your attention!! It has been a week since I even posted!! As you can see though I have managed to add my weight loss ticker to the top here, so each time I visit my own blog (which, of course I double check every post, LOL) Ill have to look at my progress, good or bad.

This week was a good week, though, according to my scales. It may have something to do with the .3 mile I have to walk TO campus, then again, FROM campus from my parking spot. Not to mention hopping from building to building, going up and down the stairs with a 30 lb book bag! I took a picture on the first day of what my walk looks like, but I believe I will take another one tomorrow from my more accurate parking space, a bit further away than the first day. One lot, to be exact.

My classes seem to be great. My most challenging one is Algebra simply because the girls that sit around me talk endlessly during the homework time, and it's distracting to me. Other than that, it's grreeaaatt! Two quotes from me teachers this week that got me tickled:

One teacher noticed as he was handing out syllabuses that the back row was completely full. He says "Ahhhh, just like the back row of a Baptist church, chock full. I might as well move all of you up to the front!", which cracked me up as I was sitting at the same angle from his lectern as I do from my pastor, on front row, when I'm in church, LOL!!!

Then another teacher, while explaining her cell phone policy, gave a very vivid example. Her policy is simple, keep it turned off or on vibrate, and leave the room before answering as to not distract anyone around you. She says "Imagine you are in church- sitting beside your mother.... Imagine the FIT she would pitch, if your cell phone rang during church. Now multiply that TIMES TEN and that's what you'll have from me if your phone rings in MY class!" LMBO!!!

I thought those were pretty good.

One highlight of the week was my PC class, called "Basic PC Literacy". I'm not sure what I was expecting except that I knew I'd pass no doubts there. I remember thinking as I looked through the catalog, how I wished there was a class that covered Microsoft programs, especially the Office suite cause I've always wanted to master that. Guess what we're covering in my PC class? You got it! MS Office! That's the ONLY thing we're doing! First Word, then Excel, then Access, then PowerPoint! Woo-Hoo!!! This is gonna be fun :)

I've had this abnormal drive for organization this past week. Should I say, I remember back when I was nesting before I had Jackson (7 years ago), how organized I was. How routine I was. How at peace I was with my surroundings. Slowly but surly, that's all coming back now! It's like second nature for some reason for me to clean the kitchen in the evenings! How weird is that? I mean I have tried to attempt organization for years but always fail, but now it just seems to be effortlessly happening! I'm not gonna argue- just be thankful.

My biggest challenge is the kids. Hannah is at her all time worse. I am trying my best to figure out what in the world has gotten into her. She does not listen to a thing I say!! One minute she can be just as loving as she can be, then you ask her to do something and she just looks at you like you're crazy and she does the opposite. She's doing her best to drive Jackson nuts- which brings open another can of worms, because he doesn't respond in the manner in which he should. You'd think they were about to kill each other or something. They've become stumbling blocks for each other!! Lord please have mercy on me!! I'm hoping once we get more routine, both of them will calm down.

Poor Jackson, he's sick. He has a cold or something. He's been coughing since last Friday, and this morning he got up with a fever of 100.1. So we ended up keeping him out of school. The fever broke about 10:30-11am, so we got ready and went to lunch at Hannah's new favorite place, "Bernie's". Hannah teases Jackson because he never gets to go, because they close at 2pm. Hannah and I eat there for breakfast, or have been since Wednesday ;o) So I figured I would take advantage of the fact I had Jackson at home and we went.

Dad walks up there every morning, eats breakfast, sits and chats with all his buddies who go in to do the same thing, lol. It's just a locally owned little restaurant that's been there for 30 years. (Its .4 mile away from mom and dad’s house.) They've changed ownerships a few times, but all the owners have kept the same name so they're "grandfathered" in with the old laws. So Hannah and I have been going up there and eating breakfast, picking up dad and taking him home, and leaving Hannah with them while I'm at school. (Right now mom and dad are watching Hannah while I'm in school, until her spot comes open in the subsidy program).

After we finished eating, mom and dad walked in, go figure ;o) they weren't supposed to get home that soon! I had called dad before we left and he said they were at the eye doctor, which is 15 miles away from them! I was planning on taking the kids back to their house and baking cupcakes for mom's birthday, which was today :p We did that anyways, and all was well. The cupcakes were good, too. Hannah helped make them, and Jackson (along with Hannah) helped decorate them.

Gracious how do you get these kids to go to bed and stay?! I have fought Hannah for over an HOUR to stay in bed and go to sleep. After 15 minutes or so of silence I go to check to be sure she's out (you know how you just like looking at them asleep? They are so peaceful, like lil angels ... yeh right) and she's laying there wide awake messing with her blanket!! Jackson's fever is coming back :o( (it's 9pm, I've been typing over 30 minutes between getting up and down, etc...) Poor guy. He's going to bed like he's going to school in the morning, little does he know. Uhg. We don't have the money to take him to the dr!! That’s another vent for another day.

I had the weirdest dream the other night. My grandmother passed away 3.5 years ago. We were fiercely close, and I grieved extremely hard for her, worse than any other person in my life that's ever died. The other night, I dreamed the whole family was supposed to get together for a meal. That's ODD in its self because we just don't do that anymore.

But when I arrived, my gma was there ... alive. She looked great, years younger than she was when she died, and before the light dementia had kicked in. I just freaked out. The best I can remember, my response was "why NOW?" like, why come back NOW, after I have grieved for so hard for so long. Why ARE you coming back? What's the purpose of coming back? The thing was, there wasn't a question about 'how' she come back. I remember part of my dream I was talking to my sister in law and saying, "if Jesus brought Lazarus back thousands of years ago, then of course he can bring my grandma back now"-- but in the latter part of my dream, I remember having doubt of WHO brought her back. Whether she returned because the Lord was sending her back to me, or it was Satan and everything was a ruse.

It was a really weird dream. I remember wanting to just fall into her arms and hold her like I did before, but my doubts and anger kept me from doing so.

I had another similar dream about my best friend who died when I was 14, too. That dream come about a number of years after her death. I dreamed then that she come back, but I found that she was never dead to begin with, that her death had been faked. I remember rejecting her in my dream, having the same kind of anger I had in this recent dream with gma.

I wonder what all of this is supposed to represent.

Well, if anything that'll give y'all something to chew on ;o)
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Take Care!!