Jesus Easter egg display

This is so neat. I was at Nicole's blog, and she always shares the cutest and neatest home decorating ideas, I'm thinking that's her "thing". Anyhow, she found this blog that had an Easter egg project that was glorifying the Lord, I think we'll do this this year-

Weather, Rally

We got snow last night! All winter long I've got to see my northern friends and thier snow, and we finally got some! All it took was a massive storm that somehow started from the south, LOL Jay and I were talking and we both agreed the last time it snowed *this* much was back in '91. So this was the kid's first REAL snow. We spent probably 3-4 hours outside with the kids today. I have a thousand pictures (well, not exactly, but ...). We built a life sized snowman. I have to say I think this was the first snowman I've ever helped make! So the kids and I both got to have a "first" today.

I have some great shots I want to share, I believe I'm going to save them for Wordless Wednesday. I have some beautiful scenic shots- I hope to be able to turn them into blog layouts for the designs site. I do plan on taking a bunch of them and creating a photo book for the kids.

Tomorrow is the Return America rally in Raleigh, and a group from church is going. We have about 250 people signed up, I'm not sure what the turnout will be since the weather is so rough. Our "Young at Hearts" do this every year as a group, and the rest of the church is invited to join them. My only thing is riding the two hour + trip down there in a school bus, LOL! I'm taking Jackson with me tomorrow. We talked about what it's for, without even having to get into the fact men are wanting to marry men, etc ... He was all for it just because the bible says "man and woman" and that's good enough for him.

I explained to him that when he is older, and the amendment is passed, he will appreciate being able to tell his own children he had something to do with it. I've had people ask why do I concern myself so much with "current events" and politics, and the answer is quite simple. It's the same thing my now retired pastor said many years ago when Jackson was just a little guy-

"... if this country ever gets far away from God, and my kids or grandkids look
at me as a Christian and ask "what did you do to stop this?", I want to tell
them I done everything I could. I don't want to have to say "nothing"."

I would say this is a biggie, don't you think? So if you see this throughout the day, please pray for our safety and that the mission will be accomplished this year!

Family Update- (long and possibly upsetting)

I thought it might be time for another family update and let y'all know what's new with us :) You might have read last week that Jay was able to get a new truck. This has been a tremendous blessing and burden off of him. For him to be able to leave out for work in the mornings and not have to worry about whether something pops up like a kid getting sick at school, if something comes up at work and he is not able to get home in time to pick up the kids (thus having to depend on my parents to jump in in an hour's notice some days ..). With having his own vehicle, he is able to do his job better, and that actually, for us, brings in more income for us- which is a HUGE bonus!

Speaking of income, I am currently pondering my resume and plan on applying to Gymboree for a part time job while the kids are still in school. I'd appreciate prayers concerning that, if you think about it. That is where I love getting Hannah's clothes and the emplyees always pick around when I'm in there cause I squeeze our dollars so tight and get such good deals there, lol If employed, I'll be able to get a 40% discount off regular price, which is awesome considering there have been a number of outfits I've really liked, but missed getting because they sold out before the discount was good enough for me. I really believe this will be something I will enjoy doing a lot. I already have dealt with the staff quite a bit and they are all really friendly, especially the asst manager. The store manager assured me she was able to work with my availability, and no weekends if I was not available- which is huge for me.

My mistake the last time I "went back to work"- it was a good opportunity, a wonderful job, but more than our family really needed to take on. I wanted part time and they were only willing to offer full time. The pay was higher (by dollars) than what I would be making with Gymboree I'm sure, but I believe when you're honoring God with your money, He will honor you, too.

Our goal with the extra money is going to be getting the kids back into private Christian school. Until this school year, they had only been there, then this school year the Lord led us to take a break to regroup not only our finances but our family. It has been an interesting school year, and I have no doubt we're in the Lord's will right now with the kids in the charter school, but it's one of those situations you think sometimes "why me? why do I have to do this?", but there have been many things revealed, many blessings, and our family has come much closer as a result of this change.

The change has not been without challenges. The main one, is Jackson. He is struggling with school in a big way. Now that we're in third quarter, the pressure is really on him, and he is showing it. It's become apparent he has lost a lot of respect for his teacher, and it hurts to see. He's not a disrespectful child, there are reasons behind his thoughts, that I do not doubt. From some things he has said, I can see it through his perspective. My conclusion is the school''s educational philosophy is not conducive for him.

You cannot take a child that has made straight A's the first four years of his life, effortlessly; going into the 4th grade with a 7th grade reading level; having attended a school whose test scores were GRADE LEVELS above the national average (his class was two grades above); and watch his grades plummet into Bs, Cs and Ds, and say it is the child. You cannot just claim "irresponsbility" against the child, when there's TOO MUCH for said child to have to keep up with! I agree a child needs to learn to be responsible, but there is such a thing as "too much". WE have a hard time keeping up with his work and what hes expected to do! Why is there just as much emphasis put on whether worksheets are turned in, as there is tests? Don't the tests prove whether the child is learning?

I just disagree with the way things are done. He used to enjoy school, and enjoy learning. That has been completely sucked out of him. So, I'm trying to encourage him to do his best. I am not going to tell him they are going back to their old school because right now, I still do not know 100%. I just know, that is what we want, and are praying for.

Speaking of praying, this has been such a big a hit to him- the other day I said something about praying for something to happen and his response was "what good does it do to pray? nothing ever happens!". Oh that broke my heart. But that showed me he's at a point in his life where his relationship with the Lord is his own, and he's going to have to work that out hisself. I do know, that if he does get back to the old school for next school year- he's going to be a completely different child. That I have no doubt. He will never forget this experience. His burden for the lost is much stronger, but his personal relationship is weaker, if that even makes sense. I found a kid devotional website yesterday, and plan on implementing that in our days. We talk about spiritual things and the bible every day, but I'm thinking this might put more of a narrow focus for them.

Hannah is facing her own challenges now, and I'm watching her carefully. About two-three weeks ago, she spoke up and said the kids were mean on the playground. Now, anyone that knows my Hannah, knows that she is a heart a thousand miles wide, and will give anyone the shirt off her back if she saw they needed it. She shares everything. She is friends with everyone. She meets NO strangers. She was recognized at the end of second quarter she was recognized for forgiveness! So to hear people were mean to her? That grabbed my attention.

I asked her how people were mean to her, what happens, etc ... She said "The African American kids tell me every day they don't want me on their team because I'm white." :-O I asked if the teacher was watching the teams getting picked and she informed me it was free play type of teams. So you have these first graders (!!!) on the playground, deciding to play a game, dividing into teams- all healthy, normal as far as social development ... and yet, somehow, racial bias has already been taught either by word or action in the lives of these children. and it's not the white kids!

So Hannah is coming home each day for Lord only knows how many weeks this had been going on before she decided to tell me (she just says they "always" do it, no telling with a first grader, kwim?) wondering why kids don't want to play with her because she is white. It just bewilders me, how parents can ... NOT know, their kids say these types of things. Then I think about the comment our new Attorney General said last week about us essentially being a "nation of cowards" when it comes to race.

"Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot,
in things racial we have always been and I believe continue to be, in too many
ways, essentially a nation of cowards," Holder said.
Race issues continue to be a topic of political discussion, but "we, as
average Americans, simply do not talk enough with each other about
race."

Well I have the answer to ALL of the hoopla- if you teach your children that God created us ALL to live up to our God given potential in life, that he died for the WORLD, that God sees NO COLOR~ then we won't really have racial issues in this country now will we!!?? When are people going to GET OVER THIERSELVES!!?? Seriously! I think we talk TOOOOO much about race!

My kids don't care what color the skin is of another child, they look at the content of the heart. and even then- they forgive! Case in point, the racial comments come home over a week ago. Day before yesterday, we're sititng at the table eating and she said "B got on RED today.". Red is the worse offense you can get, it calls for a trip to the principal's office, and a call to the parents. Usually, "M" is the one that gets in that much trouble, and Hannah has been praying for M quite often this school year. But this boy, I don't really recall hearing much of.

I do know, that there's only one white boy in her class and his name is A. As she's sitting there eating her mashed potatoes I ask why B got put on red ... "He hit me on the playground." :::deep breath::: I ask her to share what happened. "We were on the playground and I told him the chicken joke. He said he didn't like it and he punched me in my head and ran off. It hurt, too." Her teacher promptly handled it and done exactly what I would expect a teacher to do, except B refuses to apologize to Hannah (but I don't believe in forced apologies either), and I was informed by Hannah, and not a note from school. I know it's elementary school, but I still believe it would be appropriate for teachers to have that kind of communication with parents. I realize she did not have a black eye, or a bruise, or a bloody lip, but, she was still hurt.

So she's told by the black kids at school that they don't want to play with her because she's white. She used to be buddies with one of the black girls, but they're not close any more because her friend is playing with the other black girls. Hannah was, at the beginning of the year, one of two white girls in the class, since the beginning there's been another white girl put in that class. She's being isolated because of her color, and now, a black BOY hits her. There's another GIRL, the same one, that is apparently telling Hannah she has fat legs (she doesn't, she's not a string bean, but shes not heavy by a mile!)
This is after a number of days of her coming home "tired" and ready to go to bed early most nights. and she's "tired" when she wakes up. I mean she plays at home, but overall, she's complaining quite a bit about being tired. She sleeps ten hours a night, too.

Is Hannah becoming depressed? Fatigue is a symptom of depression, and frankly, racial tension for a first grader is a bit too much. I'm not sure when it's time to speak up and say something. I know kids will be kids, but if the situation were opposite, I can't help but to wonder if something would have been done by now :o(

So. That's what's going on with us. pray as you see fit!

BIG Deal! 10 free 8x8 photo books

I was reading on one of my favorite money-blogs Mom Saves Money, and she says:

You can 10 free 20 page 8 x 8 photo books from Artscow. Once you
login, click on 'Credit and Discounts' and enter code FREE10BKS. This offer
expires on 2/28/09. If you are new to Artscow, you will
get 400 free prints, a free photo book and several other free print credits when
you join.

This is great. I told myself at the beginning of the year I was going to get my digiscrapping going so I can get some photo books done. This is very motivating!

Have you ever had a photo book created? I think they are so neat, and when you're talking about printing digital scrapbooking pages, overall, it's an inexpensive way to go. I'll be sharing my creations on my designs blog when I get them complete, be sure to peek in!

Life

Categories pertaining to the "Life of CalvaryGirl"

How did you finish?

Simplemom had a great post that I plan on working through to get down "on paper" how 2008 was for me. She also has a vision post for 2009. Granted, these are not spiritually minded, but more general, so I'd like for us to ponder the spiritual reflections that comes with a new year. I will be using my notes from a previous service from my own church- so if any of my church friends are reading- this will be familiar ;o)

2 Timothy 4:6-8 (This is Paul speaking at the end of his life)
6For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at
hand.
7I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course,
I have kept the faith:
8Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.

Is this what we would say at the end of our life? I cannot, I would be lieing. I've noticed a common answer is "I would hope.." or "I sure hope so...". When you ask someone if they will go to heaven when they die, and they say "I hope so...", that pretty much tells us they are not. You will KNOW your eternal destination if you have accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, according to the bible! So why would that answer be any better, from a Christian, when they're asked if they served the Lord to the best of their ability?

The new year is a time of reflection:

1 Corinthians 9:24-25
24Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.
25And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.

How well did we run in 2008? In a race, only one person received the prize, but have you noticed how hard everyone runs, in order to attain that prize? We should all be striving to be our best for Christ in this race of life. Each year, we should make progress in our spiritual walks. Did you make progress in your relationship with Christ last year? Paul wanted to finish his race well, do you?

Satan is going to do whatever it is he can that will distract you- and he knows exactly what that is going to work best to distract you from putting your focus on God, and not the world around you- your world.

Galatians 5:7
7Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth?

Has there been in a time in your life when you were closer to God than you are now? Why is that? Sure, circumstances change, and things might be different, but that does not mean you are further away from God because circumstances are different. If you are going through trials right now, that does not mean you are further away from God because of the trials, it might mean that God is bringing you through a "growth spurt", bringing you into a deeper, intimate relationship with Him.

However, it is possible some of you reading are not as close to God as you might once have been, or as close as you could be? What is Satan doing to prevent you from accomplishing that closeness? Is he telling you that you don't have enough "time" to read your bible in a year because you work full time outside the home, have kids to take care of, and a home budget to keep balanced? Since you don't have "time" to read your bible in a year, is he telling you it's okay to not read your bible daily? Have you ever experienced a closeness to God, the joy of your salvation, NOT being in your bible daily, seeking His Word and will for your life?

Be careful to not get trapped into the "things" of this world. I used to say I didn't have enough "time" to really stay in my bible. After tragedy struck our family last year, and I got through the "processing" time oeriod, I realized, I could not afford, spiritually, NOT to read my bible. It was then I decided it was worth sacrificing things I was doing that ate my time each day, to spend more time with the Lord. But guess what? Satan sent MORE things, different things, that had the ability to suck the time out of my day! It wasn't that these things were bad things, I had the ability to help people- but did GOD want me to help these people? We should always be on guard for things that take away our time in God's Word, even when they're "good" things!

Hebrews 12
1Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a
cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so
easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

The new year is a time to be thankful for accomplishments.
Have you sat down yet, and thanked God for everything he done for you in 2008? There should be some spiritual growth in us each year- are you able to recognize how much you have grown in the past year?

The new year is a time of anticipation.
The bible says we are to emulate Christ in our lives. When we do this, we will receive crowns in glory, to be able to sit at Jesus' feet. This was Paul's desire. Paul, in his life, was continually looking forward to the moment Christ come back, forward to the crowns he would receive in glory, and for death. Paul was ready to get to heaven- not just at the end of his life, but throughout his life. Can we say that? I cannot! When I think about Paul, I think about just how weak I am, and how much I have to grow. I am so thankful that God in his perfection knew there would be weaklings like me that needed such an example to work towards, that he was sure to have Paul write His Word!!

Would we be ready for death like Paul was, if we were not so wrapped up in the things of this world?

How can we be better Christians in 2009?

1. Don't be satisifed with past accomplishments.
   Continually be striving to be a better Christian in the future than you were in the past. We will never "arrive" to the point of being the "ideal" Christian, so don't let Satan fool you into thinking there's not more you can do to serve Christ!!


2. Be HONEST with yourself!
   Have you really accomplished as much as you think you have? Do you really think there's no room for ministry at your church- or are you just fearful of starting something new? There is ALWAYS something to do in God's house- for the old and the young!! Pray- God will show you.


3. Set some realistic goals.
   No, most of us will not make the big mission trip to a foreign country this year, but we can start working in the nursery-if that's where God wants us. Where do you want to be, spiritually, in January 2010? Do you want to be able to do say you read your bible in a year? Handed out two tracts a week? Have family alter? We accomplish nothing without goals, so start setting them!


4. Be totally surrendered to God.
   He gave His son for us, why would we think about giving Him anything LESS than our BEST?

Blogging goals for 2009

Oy! everywhere I look I'm seeing people make "resolutions". I decided NOT to make resolutions because you always ... I always ... tend to break them. They also for me seem like a way to procrastinate things that would be helpful or needful for you to do as the year ends, by saying you'll make that you're New Year's Resolution. That's my theory anyway.

But Ask Baby Kid is asking something different. What are your blogging goals for 2009? Since Give Away Day on Sew Mama Sew, I've noticed an entire world of blogging I did not realize before. The community. Something else, is the giveaways ;) What a NEAT way to bring people to your blog and see what content you have to offer!

So what are my blogging goals?
First I want to be consistent with my posting. I know that seems like a "duh", but that's a weakness of mine overall.

Second I want to get to know my bloggy friends better.
Blogging is such a good way to peep into peoples lives in a way that you might not otherwise have an opportunity to do. Like my praise for today, I would have had to have waited until Sunday to learn that news. But what if it was tomorrow, instead of last week, that I come down with strep throat? I would have missed Sunday school, which is basically when my friend reports on things like that, and is really the only time I get to see said friend besides in passing on the way to our own ministries, not much time for fellowship. So I was happy to find her blog :o)

Third I would like to start doing product reviews on my blog. That seems like such a neat activity!

Fourth, I really want to see the devotions blog to be a blessing to others, and for the "BIAY" challenge to be a hit. I realize it can be a blessing to others and I might never know it, so, with that being said- I want to know it is a blessing to others through steady commenting and conversation ;o)

Fifth, I want to see the Designs blog pick up in popularity through the backgrounds I will be offering. It would not hurt to make some money while I'm at it ;o)

If I see a substantial increase in followers, visitors, and comments on all blogs, all the better! :o)

I'm still alive ...

Warning: Graphic Intense

We had Spring break last week. I slept, lol We only have 14 more days to go before Spring semester is over and we start summer semester the second week in May. Err- the third. I have a whole week off between semesters- YAY! I'm taking four classes this summer, two of them are online. I decided to change to the college transfer- Business Administration curriculum, instead of going for a straight BA Associate's degree. Now my degree with be an Associate in Arts & Sciences, Pre Major- BA. That way I will have the option of transferring to a four year college if I choose to.

So, doing that, I am having to redo my computer course this summer. The transfer class has one more project per chapter than we have right now. The professor told me to save all of my work from this semester fo the summer on my pin drive so I don't have to repeat all the work. He's cool. He subbed one day for us, and I enjoyed that class enough I just might have switched curriculums to Computer Science, LOL The geek in me was having a good ol time :p

So online I'm doing "Intro to Computers" (lol); and "Intro to Business". On campus I'm taking Intro to Sociology on M●W●F, and Expository Writing on T●TH. So three days I'll be home by 10 and the other two I'll be home by 11:30. Not bad :)

Today is "Slime Day" at Jackson's school. Last fall when we sold $2400 in World's Finest Chocolate $1 candy bars, after they sold ... hmmmm .... I believe it was $200, for every case they sold, they got 1 cup of slime to pour on the Principal's head. Jackson said they told him yesterday that he will have an introductory BUCKET to pour on his head FIRST, lol I'd say so, we sold 44 cups worth! LOL- that's almost three GALLONS! I'm so proud of him *g*

My CTS has been giving me a FIT the past couple of weeks. Usually it doesn't bother me unless I am sick, and even then, it's not every time. Usually when there's infection. But it's really aggrivating me now. I've been wearing my brace more than less for two whole weeks now. This is a first.

However, I cannot stay away from my mouse. During Spring break I decided I was gonna brush up on my siggie making because I had not been able to spend a lot of time on it for the past month or so. So I put out an offer for everyone. I took advantage of the opportunity and honed in some new skills, too. It paid off, I think. I'm pretty proud of these! :) {originally there were eight sigs shown}

Off to class now :)

**SHOUT IT OUT SATURDAY***

I'm shouting out cause I got hired for the hostess job at the restaurant! It will be Thurs - Sat from 4-9, regular schedule, so we'll be able to appropriately plan ofr things. I had initially planned to homeschool Hannah for k4 this fall. Then when I found out about the hostess job I told B to tell them I was interested. That extra income will be enough to cover Jackson AND Hannah's tuition this coming school year, taking that burden off of Jay, Praise God!

So I go to school the other day and tell them I need an enrollment packet for Hannah, and the secretary said that k4 was already maxed and had four already on the list (open enrollment started that day!). Though she said that the odds were high that some kids would drop off, I wasn't feeling well about things, but told the Lord it was in his hands. We got a call the next day, they said they were holding a spot for Hannah to get the registration packet and fee the next chool day. So she's in! PTL!!

What are you shouting about this weekend?

School has been CANCELLED tomorrow (Friday)

I just got a call from Jackson's teacher. Our principal has cancelled school tomorrow because of a growing epidemic of BIRD FLU ("Type A") in the school. Apparently the number of cases reported this week is getting higher and higher. A family doctor of one student apparently said that each family should call their dr and inform them that they'd been exposed and let their dr's decide whether to treat the whole family or not, whether symptoms were present or not. (wow)

Big question is- do I need to go to school tomorrow? I mean, I have already contaminated everyone in my classes if I have it (and looking at the symptoms, uhmm, yep, I'd say I fit the pattern!!). I'd love a day at home in bed but not at the expense of my GPA! Last time I was out I ended up with two zeros! :(

So anyways, if you feel led please pray for the school, and especially the health of our teachers. She said they still had to go in tomorrow to bleach down all the classrooms to get the germs out, etc.. But specifically, there's a boy in Jackson's class, who's brother has a rare heart condition that has left his immune system compromised. Anything, a sniffle, could send him to the hospital. He's 9 years old now I believe. Please pray for extra protection for this fella! He's homeschooled but his brother of course is not, and our class is extra cautious about not sending the kids if they have the least of a fever, etc ...

Thanks

Test / Grade results for this week

I got my tests back from Friday- I made a 98 1/3 on my Finance test, and a 99 on my Algebra test (missed a sign...); got my self introduction presentation grade back, and even though I went six minutes OVER the time limit (baptists...)- I STILL (by the grace of God!!) made the highest B!! PTL!! Everything else was "perfect" except for one thing and I got one pt taken off for that. ~whew~ I tell ya! I was sweating that grade big time!

I woke up this morning with great pain in my left wrist / thumb joint. So bad I made Jay find my arm / wrist splint and I wore that all day. Not sure what's going on but boy does it hurt when I move it "just so".

Catching up on Laundry; Ebay

Laundry has to be my most dreaded chore of all. I have the hardest time keeping up with it. I am hoping since we're getting into more solid routines now that I'll gain the ability to stay diligent with laundry. But for now, I'm behind.

I went to a new laundromat today called "Laundra Bright". It's a really neat system they have there. They have these HUGE washers along with smaller ones. A 2 load, a 4 load, and the huge one is a 5/6 load. I had a regular sized storage tote overflowing with Jackson's clothes that I put in the 5/6 load machine, and an overflowing round basket of Hannah's clothes that went into the 4 load washer. I literally done what would have equivalated to an easy 6 loads, packed in the washer today in the same time as one wash / dry cycle! and I still have a hallway full of clothes to go! LOL! But all that today for the bargain price of $11. Can't beat it.

I'm thinking of opening up a Ebay store. I have tried to find consignment shops that I liked the clothes that would do trades and have been unsuccessful. I figure Ebay would be a good option to sell our gently used items. What do you think? Any Ebay'ers out there?

I'm officially a college student

I registered for my classes today. I'm taking:
Interpersonal Psychology
Personal Finance
Introductory Algebra
Basic PC Literacy (ROFL)
Public Speaking

I'll be going basically four hours a day mon-fri. 9'ish to 1'ish. I got my tuition paid and my books (and a cool backpack) paid for, and still have almost four hundred dollars left on my grant! I have til the 19th for all my purchasing to be done then they'll cut a check to me for the balance- gotta love THAT!!! I was looking at my receipt though and realized tonight they only charged me 40c for one of my books ... got to go get that fixed, I wouldn't be able to go through the course knowing that. What's scarey is how many more books they've sold for 40c!!!

Frustrating evening

I had a headache this morning. The trip has taken it's toll on me, really. I was on the phone with J earlier today and asked when he'd be home. He said around 6. I said it would be great if he could ensure that, so I could leave Hannah at home with him for a change when I take Jackson to basketball practice which resumed today. He said sure. After dropping off carpool kids, we went to one store in search of jumbo pacn chicken breasts. They didn't have any. Go pick dad up from the house he was cleaning, go to other store to get chicken, go to credit union for dad, go pick up their dog from groomers, taken dad and dog home. Go by yet another grocery store for side items, come home. Have supper done at 6:30, looking for J. Come 7:15 I conclude we're not going to practice and Jackson has a fit. I call J's phone and ask if he's lying on the side of the road, he says no. I ask of the car is working, he says yes. Then it hits him. His boss come in with something and J decided to do it before he left work, completely forgetting about practice.

Thats the thing, he has been so uninvolved with Jackson's basketball, not one practice OR game, it really doesn't suprise me. hurts, but not suprise. It's a matter of priorities.... and lack of consistency. Hannah was looking fwd to time with her daddy tonight, that would be the only thing to keep her from practice. I just didn't have the energy tonight to follow up on Hannah. My best friend K's daughters were there to run her around, but I don't believe that should be their job each and every practice, kwim?

I have so much to do around here!!
I believe I will enlist mom's help tomorrow in catching up on my laundry, LOL I need to go to the bank anyway, so we'll be out around lunchtime. I was informed (mom) that a new headboard, footboard, frame, and mattress set will be delivered tomorrow :) Woo-Hoo! I hope it's a soft pillowtop!! I just need to clean out our room so we can get it in ::blush::: I got a new abcdistributing catalog and see a bunch of decorating stuff I could go crazy with. Oh goodie.

I've been thinking a lot about Carol and my MK career. This has been a great week with orders. I will love it when the time comes every week will be like this and better. I need to remind myself "baby steps". 2006 will prove to be the miracle year. I will get my house in order and running effectively, we'll start our debt reduction plan, I start college, we'll start homeschooling (Hannah) in August, just a whole bunch going on. But my main goal will be to be in a company car by Christmas. That's the big thing. Consistency is the key here. That's not something I have a whole lot of, really!!

Time for bed- feel free to comment!!

New resolutions, early

My friend Maryn inspired me by sharing her personal point system she used to challenge herself through the holidays. I thought that it was pretty neat, so I come up with my own point system to install a bit of self motivation and control in my exercise, diet, and spiritual health. I've been feeling pretty crappy lately and I know my health is faultering. So here's what I come up with:

Goal: 100 points per day

DIET:
2 pts per half cup serving of fruits and veggies up to 4C = 16 points
2 pts per half cup serving of dairy ("milk") up to 3C = 12 points
2 pts per 2 ounces of grains up to 6 oz= 6 points
1 point per ounce of meat / protein = 5 points
11 points for journaling & meeting Weight Watcher Points goals (22 WW points per day)
3 points per 8 ounces of water up to 64 ounces = 24 points; If I make it to 24, I get a bonus point = 25

EXERCISE:
10 points per workout up t0 30 a day (up to 1 hour optional but no additional points allowed)

SPIRITUAL:
Devotional & Prayer time:
alone: 5 points
with kids: 5 points
with Jay: 5 points

Did I mention? I graduated!

I did graduate high shcool ;o) with honors!

My scores:
Language Arts- writing: 98%
Language Arts- reading: 95%
Social Studies: 98%
Science: 88%
Math: 62%

Had I graduated in '93 I would not have done that good ;o)

I'm having trouble with my blogger dashboard, when I post from there the text doesn't show. But when I email in my posts, the yahoo footer shows. Sorry about the ad! I may switch this to my gmail, but that's been giving me trouble, too :o/

Preschool Decisions

Okay so we know that Hannah will need a place to stay while I am in my classes after I start college. I've been trying to figure out what we're going to do since I was informed the funds from the childcare grant are depleted for the spring and summer semesters already.

I start with looking into the "More at Four" program. She has to be four before October 16th (she will be 4 the 20th of this month..) so that's out. "Headstart"- waiting list, could not tell you how long it will be, and, well, not sure impressed with the site to be honest. Just not so sure. I've learned to go with those feelings.

Then it dawned on me that a close by Chrisian school has a three year old program. Sure enough, they do, for the same cost as Jackson's old preschool that I checked out and priced a couple of months ago when I was thinking about work. Same curriculum as Calvary as well (the school she will be attending this fall most likely...Jackson's school), PLUS Spanish and music every day. So I'm impressed, and make a mental note. Quite a few of my friends actually graduated from this school, and one friend at church sends her three boys there. Trust is a big thing with me! ;o)

I get back online today and find the place I need to check with for a family subsidy program. Go down there today and get the information. We can choose whatever preschool we want, as long as they are licensed and 3+ stars. Surely to goodness the Christain school is at least a 4 star. Go by and ask- they're state approved but not licensed as a daycare. Uhg. But that's okay- that still leaves Jackson's old preschool a mile away from there. They're on the actual referral list with 4 stars, I can handle that.

So it looks like that's where Hannah will be going. She has seen the classroom and was impressed. We're already experienced with this place, and I am impressed. Unfortunately Jackson's former teacher had to move up north as she was offered a job being a private nannie, so Hannah will have a different teacher. But that's okay.

The down side of this is, they (the subsidy program) cannot process our application until I have my school schedule in hand with a written letter saying I'm a full time student of 12 hours or more. I believe I'm going to be doing 17 hours this semester, actually. The problem with this, is, I don't get to register until January 7th, and classes start on the 11th. I know they will not get things completed in 5 days! So this leaves my mother watching Hannah until funds become available. They cannot even say if they will, or will not be available in January. Apparently migrant workers put a big glitch in that system because some go home in the winter and some stay, etc..

I just pray things happen asap so we can get on a good schedule and stay with it.

Update from our end of the world

written this morning, not able to put post through until this afternoon-----

---

Where do I begin?

I started the process of getting my GED (general equivalency diploma) about three weeks ago. I scored surprisingly low on the reading end, but still at an 11.2 grade level. My math and language arts were 12.9 (post high school abilities). I got kicked out of school in March of my senior year. I was simply in a rebellious stage, left to my own means. My parents are of the train of thought "what can we do to stop her?", so I had no boundaries. I admit I had my own fault in not finishing school, but to think of my child getting that far in school and not finishing? They would be walking everywhere!! but anyway- the Lord allowed that to happen for a reason and I do not grieve what 'could have been' if I had finished and went on to college; because had I, I would not have met Jay. 'Nuff said there ;o)

So I finished my practice tests with flying colors. On my essay, the woman grading it said it was THE best essay she had ever read in all the years she had been working in education. She said she'd read essays of college graduates that were not as articulated as mine. All I could say was "wow", lol. I had a good topic; the words just flowed to the paper.

I start my official testing this Thursday night, and it will continue for the next two Thursdays after this. "As long as there are tests, there will always be prayer in schools" :p~~~~

I have had numerous people from the continuing education department ask me to consider starting college this upcoming semester. I started the GED process because we had decided I was going back to work. I had not considered college until the administrators started encouraging me to at least think about it. I had already spoke with my old boss (from before I had Jackson) at my old workplace, and she said she felt she could get me in at $9/hr, up to 30 hours a week, daytime. You would think that would be a good thing, but...? The more I prayed about it, the more I felt a hand over my chest, holding me back from pursuing that option "quite yet". I'm always praying for the right timing in things, so I assumed there may be things going on at the job place and the lord could had been paving the way for me before I went back with my application.

In the second week of "waiting", my niece called me. She landed a great restaurant job earlier this year at a local conference center, and to be 19 years old she's making awesome money. The world is her oyster at this point :) She was calling because there were some positions open where she works and she thought of me; hence calling to see if it was of any interest for me. I thought that was pretty good. I would work the same amount of hours as the other place, except it would be nights (to around 9 or a little after); making at least $4 more per hour, minimum. I could live with that.

Then it hit me- if I worked nights, then I would be wide open to start college this coming semester! Full time! The monetary difference between the jobs would more than make up for part time preschool for Hannah the day’s mom and Jay doesn't keep her! Well PTL!!

Then out of the blue I get a call from the college, the office where my SIL works. A co worker of hers wanted to order some Mary Kay. When I went to deliver the order, we chatted a bit. SIL said she was 99.9% positive I would get full financial aid for the next two terms (spring and summer). I could live with that! So it seems the Lord is coming through on that timing aspect.

I could go to work as soon as I finish my GED tests, November 10th. That would give me from November 11th to January 1oth to get used to the work schedule, two months, then layering 15 hours of school on top of that. That would also give the kids time to get used to me working, then Hannah starting preschool when I start college.

I would be off on Sundays, Mondays (cause Monday is Mary Kay night), and some Tuesdays (if Jackson has basketball practice); alternate Wednesdays, work every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night, still being able to be at Jackson's basketball games Saturday mornings, possibly holding skin care classes between then and work, and holding facials at the meetings on Monday nights. Sounds like a deal to me :o)

In two years I will have an Associate's Degree in Business Administration, and could start at Wake Forest as a junior the following semester upon acceptance. Two more light years and I'd have a Bachelor's degree. My dad would be so proud ;o) hopefully by then I will already be a Sales Director in Mary Kay. That's my goal, anyhow! So the Business degree would do nothing BUT help my own business (though you do not need it to excel in the company), but land me a better job in the meantime if necessary. Gloria Mayfield Banks went to Harvard, so hey!! She has had an amazing career, I get chills just reading about it!!

Okay, I digress, but now it's time to go fold some clothes :p

One week, no blogging

I found the title line though so that's a good thing ;o) After 5 years of posting on message board forums, I cannot comprehend posting anything without a title line :p

I have good news on my weight loss blog, you should check it out.

However, not so good news for this blog. I'm practically off my anti depressants, and am crashing big time. This time it's not simply because I'm 'off' the meds, but I got a real blow last night :(

Background, right now we're living (renting) in an 800 sq ft apartment. I feel so cramped, so disoragnized with no hope in the future. I feel like I just float from day to day, shifting the clutter that would not be actual clutter if it had a home, but doesn't. I have no desire to "work" on the day to day stuff around here, mainly because of the disoragnization. I have always said I'm a very visual person, so I guess in ym subconscious, if I cannot see the fruits of my labor move forward, taking this place from walls that surround our stuff, to a home, then why bother. This has been a huge burden on me for quite some time now. I have a feeling it's added to the marital strain we have been experiencing as well.

I have been playing with the mortage calculators on interest.com, and realized we could find a nice house for the same price we're renting for. We don't pay high rent, just $550 a month. Playing with the other calculators I realized that Jay's income actually fell in line with the range we are paying now. In other words, looking at range and income, we could logically move forward to our own home. I looked around our area to see what was available, saw some prospects- my bad- I got excited. I looked outside of our box. I should know better.

I pulled our credit yesterday, and without even looking at the score, it's awful. What I did not realize was we had in excess of $10k in collections, and a $700 judgement that just happened in the past year. I am sooooooooooo tired of our financial disabilities!! Ten years we have been together and there is absoutely nothing better than it was ten years ago! We're STILL struggling from paycheck to paycheck, except now we have two kids and school tuition to pay every month that will double come next school year when Hannah starts!!

During my last counseling appointment he mentioned that my goal should be to be more of a helpmate for J. I have gotten so used to being self sufficient to a degree, we are working parallel instead of walking together, hand in hand. I see the logic in that. So this past week I started considering going back to work. I do not have much experience in much of anything. My last job was working in a deli-bakery department at a higher end grocery store, which, I was an asst deli-bakery mgr on my way up the corporate chain when I got pregnant with Jackson and left.

It would be logical to go back there, to what I know. I enjoyed the work. Food service has been my thing all of my working career, along with mgmt. Of course I cannot expect to go back in there in mgmt after being out of the workforce for 5 years .... or can I? I don't have a high school diploma or a GED, that is something else that has been lingering in the back of my mind this week. B, our 19 yo neice, went and got hers this summer in order to get hired at this fancy shancy restrauant in which she's making goooooood money now.

I guess my thoughts are, if I am going to go back to work, why not do it with a bang. Get my GED before I apply to I can be honest on my application, then apply starting with a mgmt position and work my way down. As a general laborer I cannot accept less than $9/hr or it would not be worth my going back to work. So department mgmt would start probably $10.50-11 an hour. That would be great. But can I pull it off?

One thing I have learned being a community leader for iVillage, is the premice of "selling". If you read anything on iVillage, you can see they make big things out of little things, and huge things out of big things. I already know what the job positions entails, so I believe writing the resume will not be that hard of a task. It's all in the wording, right? With the holiday season coming up, if they're needing a mgr in one of the stores, my resume just might look like a dream come true. ;o) Then again, if anything, they will know they're getting a very profitable employee.

Last time I was at the store I'm applying for (before Jackson) I was the night shift supervisor. When I went into mgmt training, they hired three people, two FT and one PT to do what I was doing.

But with all of this working hoopla, we must not forget I have two children who have depended on me their entire lives. Looking back, I wonder what I have actually offered them. Spending most of my last 5 years suffering depression, Jackson's childhood has not been that hot. I've been better with Hannah, since I was aware of my illness and combatted it proactively from her birth. However, I have spent a great deal of HER life not beign able to afford medication, so it's not like there's been a lot of quality there, either. The way I have felt for the past few weeks, which can probably be an example of "most of the time", I do good to get Jackson to carpool in the mornings. To look at our house it's not like I'm June Cleaver by a longshot. Depression still has it's toll in our home.

For me to go back to work would mean that she would go in preschool full time. Well, almost full time. J has said he would keep her on his day off and mom said she would watch her one day, so that's three days a week. Not bad. All in all, it would cost us about $500 a month for me to go back to work, tithe, Hannah's schooling, Jackson's additional childcare and gas expenses. It would probably be better for her to be away from me anyways. Then the time we spend together in the evenings would be more quality. Jackson wouldn't be missing a lot any way, he's in school until 3:15. Hannah will be in school next year anyways, so to wait would be delaying the inevitable looking at the big picture.

If I went back to work, I would meet a LOT of new people, which would mean, new Mary Kay contacts! The more contacts I make, the more sales I have, the more potential recruits, more recruits, more commission, then eventually, in due time, I will be at car then director status. Going back to work is nothing but a good thing regarding my Mary Kay business. It's impossible to meet new people with Hannah in tow. So that would be killing two birds at one time. PTL

If I went back to work, it would require teamwork regarding the house between Jay and I. Until now it's been "he works hard all day, that's my end" and believe me, if I don't do it, it doesn't get done (except clearing the LR, and taking out the trash, thanks honey.). That would actually be a huge load off of me, for several reasons.

One, I would more efficiently see the fruit of my labors, because when you have less time, you tend to work harder at something. That would go for both of us. Two, my ADD-self would be on a schedule- something we have not had in years. That alone brings more functionality to our lives. Not to mention we would be able to afford my medicine(s), which would bring more functionality to the fold. The schedule and team work would bring more quality interaction between both of us, and with our kids. Like I said, when you have less time, you work harder at things.

The only downfall would be, in order to work Mary Kay in the evenings I would need to drop Monday night visitation. but ya know? I haven't been in months so now I have a valid reason not to. Up until now it's just been "if it ain't one thing it's another" going on. My MK meeting life has been non existant for two months now, at least that will get back on track. I would still have my other two (-three) ministries so there's no real reason to feel guilty from dropping that.

Then there's the ultimate factor in whether this is what I shold do- is it God's will?

Lets examine this but briefly:
Is it God's will to have a negative credit report?
It's one thing to be poor, God takes care of the poor, the meek shall inherit the earth. The poor can still have good credit ratings, which, basically means, be fiscally responsible. So going back to work would not be about us simply having more money, but giving our family the ability to be fiscally responsible. Those collection accounts may be 5+ years old, but that money is still owed! Even if we one day become responsible with our current debts, there will always be that lingering old debt, haunting us, prohibiting us from owning our own home.

Is it God's will to not pay your bills on time?
Right now, we aren't, and haven't ever done so. We have always played the juggling game with our bills, going paycheck to paycheck just barely making ends meet. All we do is bide time. I can hardly say that is God's will for his children.

Is it God's will to be so financially tied down, you have to choose between tithing and eating?
Coming into the full knowledge recently of what our monetary situation is, that's where we are. We do not have the incoming means to faithfully tithe, AND pay our bills.

Is it God's will for our children to be in private Christain school?
YES- no doubts.

So for Jackson to remain in private Christian school, AND us be able to eat, and tithe, there's one answer- I must go back to work. The rest is gravy.

If you've made it this far, you deserve some Godiva. Go get ya some, I don't have the money for it right now ;o) This has been very therapeutic for me, thanks for being there!!