Sunday, April 15th, 2007, 10:36 pm
A friend asked me how I was. Honestly? I am so not fine. I miss my baby so much. There are so many "firsts" we've yet to encounter, but the ones we have have been so overwhelming at times. Yesterday was the first time I was at Target and passed the dog isle ... and did not have a reason to go down it. I almost had an anxiety attack there in the store, but calmed myself down enough to get to the back corner of the store and just cry a few minutes.
Everytime I visit my parents, I want to hold onto TJ (their dog, Temone's son) for dear life. I'm freaking him out. He keeps looking at the door like Jay's going to come in with Temone, too. I have to force myself to call him the right name, otherwise I'm calling him 'Moni', which I have NEVER done before.
Last week was our first holiday without him. We had family over, he would had been permanently planted in either mine or my mom's lap the whole time to avoid the "foot traffic".
and I've been sick the past few days. It's just going from one ailment to the next. This is the first time I've been home from work sick ... without having him to cuddle with. I've managed to sleep, but when I'm on the couch sick, he would pay special attention to cuddle with me, like he knew I felt bad. (I'm still feeling bad!)
That's my quick update. Guess that was more than what you were looking for, huh? I dont want to have a depressing blog, but, such is me right now :( Thank you SO much for all of your support and kind words, it really means so much to me. It means a lot to know there are people thinking about us and care about how we're doing, from the comments in my last post to those checking in on my wall, I feel fortunate to have such a network here (((group hug))))