Sunday, April 15th, 2007, 10:36 pm
A friend asked me how I was. Honestly? I am so not fine. I miss my baby so much. There are so many "firsts" we've yet to encounter, but the ones we have have been so overwhelming at times. Yesterday was the first time I was at Target and passed the dog isle ... and did not have a reason to go down it. I almost had an anxiety attack there in the store, but calmed myself down enough to get to the back corner of the store and just cry a few minutes.
Everytime I visit my parents, I want to hold onto TJ (their dog, Temone's son) for dear life. I'm freaking him out. He keeps looking at the door like Jay's going to come in with Temone, too. I have to force myself to call him the right name, otherwise I'm calling him 'Moni', which I have NEVER done before.
Last week was our first holiday without him. We had family over, he would had been permanently planted in either mine or my mom's lap the whole time to avoid the "foot traffic".
and I've been sick the past few days. It's just going from one ailment to the next. This is the first time I've been home from work sick ... without having him to cuddle with. I've managed to sleep, but when I'm on the couch sick, he would pay special attention to cuddle with me, like he knew I felt bad. (I'm still feeling bad!)
That's my quick update. Guess that was more than what you were looking for, huh? I dont want to have a depressing blog, but, such is me right now :( Thank you SO much for all of your support and kind words, it really means so much to me. It means a lot to know there are people thinking about us and care about how we're doing, from the comments in my last post to those checking in on my wall, I feel fortunate to have such a network here (((group hug))))
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
He's gone ....
Wednesday, April 4th, 2007, 1:26 pm
I come home from lunch yesterday to check on him. While I was here, he sneezed a few time sin a row and apparently bust a vessel in his left nasal passage. Blood was everywhere it seemed (around him, you know how when animals sneeze, the 'sneeze' goes in all directions.). His nose was bleeding pretty heavy (to me) and I had Jay call MIL, who in turn started calling our vet (P) and the specialist's office. (I did get the bleeding to stop.) Records were found there (at the specialist) and addt'l info was faxed from P's office, and the specialist said that his cancer was squamous carcinoma, the abolsute WORST kind of cancer in dogs, and they would not even treat it because the measures were too drastic.
She said that if they were to try to treat him, he would have to have three different surgeries, a round of chemo, and a round of radiation, and with that, they would give a 25% chance his life would be expanded by 30-60 DAYS.
P said that the best thing we could do for him was to bring him in last night and put him to sleep ... for good. So we did. He's gone. Monday night I prayed at revival for the Lord to give us the wisdom to know when to say when. Our prayer was answered in less than 24 hours, praise him. I don't want to talk about it any more quite yet but I wanted everyone to have an update. My boss let me have today off to 'get it all out', I'm so fortunate to have her as my boss, she's so compassionate. If you don't see me around the boards for the rest of the week, please understand why. I'm just trying to process it right now :...o(
I come home from lunch yesterday to check on him. While I was here, he sneezed a few time sin a row and apparently bust a vessel in his left nasal passage. Blood was everywhere it seemed (around him, you know how when animals sneeze, the 'sneeze' goes in all directions.). His nose was bleeding pretty heavy (to me) and I had Jay call MIL, who in turn started calling our vet (P) and the specialist's office. (I did get the bleeding to stop.) Records were found there (at the specialist) and addt'l info was faxed from P's office, and the specialist said that his cancer was squamous carcinoma, the abolsute WORST kind of cancer in dogs, and they would not even treat it because the measures were too drastic.
She said that if they were to try to treat him, he would have to have three different surgeries, a round of chemo, and a round of radiation, and with that, they would give a 25% chance his life would be expanded by 30-60 DAYS.
P said that the best thing we could do for him was to bring him in last night and put him to sleep ... for good. So we did. He's gone. Monday night I prayed at revival for the Lord to give us the wisdom to know when to say when. Our prayer was answered in less than 24 hours, praise him. I don't want to talk about it any more quite yet but I wanted everyone to have an update. My boss let me have today off to 'get it all out', I'm so fortunate to have her as my boss, she's so compassionate. If you don't see me around the boards for the rest of the week, please understand why. I'm just trying to process it right now :...o(
Monday, April 2, 2007
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